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[glowsferatu]

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forward dated letter

[lyingheart]

[ So you know what Annie was not expecting by and large for Christmas? Anything. Know what she got? Something. Some research showed that thank you notes were considered a polite way of acknowledging gifts, and so here is the note she writes and delivers sometime after Christmas, and before the New Year: ]

Kanaya-

I wanted to thank you for your gift this past holiday. It was a kind gesture, and is appreciated. My closet probably appreciates it most of all.

May the New Year see you well.

A. Leonhart

[glowsferatu]

[ as soon as she reads the letter, she sends back a text. by now, it could be she's had a chance to wear some of it, though kanaya doesn't really expect that she has. ]

so you appreciate the gesture
but what of the specifics of the gift
it was one that prefers input as you can consider it a sort of poll

[lyingheart]

I've looked at everything. I haven't had a reason to wear most of it by now.

[ she walks the dog and she does grocery runs or otherwise sticks around the house doing computer building (courtesy of tony stark) or reading ahead for when school starts up again (courtesy of too much downtime). When has she bothered. She's literally only planning to go out after the new year, and even then it's like. What. Does she need to dress up for that? (Probably. Probably that's where Kanaya's gift of "YOU WILL WEAR OTHER THINGS" will come in.) ]

[glowsferatu]

oh and im sure you must go around naked then
reasons really arent difficult to make
but you can at least give me first impressions if youve looked at it all

[ god it's so hard to try impressing enthusiasm on others. TELL HER WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE SHOES, ANNIE. ]

[lyingheart]

Yes. When I'm forty six feet tall.

[ #true facts ]

Most of this looks like things I'll be able to use and wear? I enjoy the colors? I don't know what you want me to say, all I really have is "thank you" and that doesn't seem satisfying.

[ she thinks "those sure are shoes" SHE'S NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL comfort and practical reliability are nice, but if she had to strip off heels and run around barefoot, so help her, she will, so... ]

[glowsferatu]

[ well she did avoid heels for a reason. she's always liked flats even if she doesn't mind heels, she hoped annie might appreciate their practicality. ]

i have a feeling that "i can use these and like the colors" is probably about the most positive sentiment ill be able to expect on the matter
perhaps i can content myself with it

[lyingheart]

[ annie's a slow convert from boots... boots that fit just right.............. because you've molded them around the shape of your foot they're that well worn ]

I think you would have had a lot more entertainment shopping with Minako.

[ or anyone else jazzed for these things, annie is aware she kind of comes off as an ingrate ]

I'll make sure that I try and use your gifts. The thought is appreciated, Kanaya.

[glowsferatu]

[ but boots are so military. annie why you gotta dress like you shop at an army surplus store. ]

more likely that you would be more entertained to witness us shopping together
i cant say the two of us particularly got on when she was here

[ to say that kanaya thought she was a bit vapid is probably a gross understatement. she can't imagine their tastes in fashion meshing well. ]

but enjoy your holidays annie
once theyre done we shouldnt have to worry about them again for a few weeks

[lyingheart]

[ She's entirely correct. Annie would have been amused seeing them shopping together.

But the thing she catches here is... only a few weeks free? ]

Only a few weeks?

[glowsferatu]

well okay so its really twice that
valentines isnt until the middle of february
but its more of a couples thing so you might not have to worry about it
usually focused solely on red romances but i guess you could take that for granted in a human holiday

[ all these quadrants she's given up on ever mattering again. ]

[lyingheart]

"Might" not?

[ g u a r a n t e e d she ain't worrying about that HAHAHA KANYA YOU'RE SO CUTE ]

[glowsferatu]

i hoped youd find that as amusing as i did
but you know maybe not rule out the possibility of a surprise
life is full of stupid surprises sometimes

[lyingheart]

I'm not fond of surprises. Often as not, they're unpleasant ones... or world shaking. It's not comforting either way.

[glowsferatu]

thats why i specified the stupid ones!
yes the unpleasant and world-shaking surprises arent entirely spared from the possibility of being stupid
but that isnt generally their defining aspect
when a surprise is only stupid however whatever unpleasantness it may also contain is usually minimal enough to not overwhelm its stupidity
its just a thing that happens while being remarkably stupid
that may not seem especially comforting at its face
but in contrast to the potentially disastrous alternative its really not that bad

[lyingheart]

Yes, by contrast, stepping in a puddle is preferable to falling in the river during the flooding season. If it's all the same, I'd prefer not to get "wet" either way.

[glowsferatu]

i dont think stepping in a puddle really qualifies for my definition of stupid there
unless it was a puddle of gold or something
there must be an inexplicable quality to it that generally outweighs the unpleasantness
maybe the unpleasantness of a rain puddle is minor but theres nothing particularly inexplicable about a rain puddle

[lyingheart]

Depending on the season and location, it can be more or less inexplicable.

Though I don't care about any of the metaphors enough to feel like I can't surrender them. It doesn't change that overall, I'd prefer no surprises, and that's... that.

[glowsferatu]

what about my christmas gift
would you have preferred that surprise never occurred

[lyingheart]

There's no safe way to answer that question, is there.

[ KANAYA... ]

[glowsferatu]

well if youre going to discuss the inconvenience of surprises now considering how the conversation began
one cant help acknowledging the conspicuous tuskbeast it invites

[lyingheart]

I don't know what you mean by tuskbeast, but if you're asking after honest opinions, no, I wasn't appreciative of the surprise itself, and yes, it wasn't an unkind surprise.

Though if you're planning to repeat the gift giving next year and we're both still here, then at least it'll be mutual. With all this, it's... I don't - want things. It's weird. I don't need the things people give me. It's different, when I do. From a practical perspective, it's not good to say no to those kinds of things, but for the nonessentials, it's not comfortable for me.

I haven't had to deal with feeling like I owe people for generosity before.

[glowsferatu]

i rarely have to deal with my generosity actually being owed anything
if you want to repay it just make use of the gifts
youve already expressed the intention to do that so your obligation is settled

now unfortunately that discomfort of yours is something you will probably just have to come to terms with
life will rarely fall along strictly essential lines
not everything you get will be something you fell that you may need
so the wisest response may be to work out exactly what it is you could see yourself growing to want

also its a pachyderm if youre going to be fussy about it

[lyingheart]

A sense of home.

[ "So The Wisest Response May Be To Work Out Exactly What It Is You Could See Yourself Growing To Want" ]

[glowsferatu]

[ ah.

well. wouldn't they all. ]

thats a difficult thing to give
much more difficult a thing to promise
home itself is such a varied concept to give strict definition

to me home isnt even a place
places dont last long enough for one to depend on
its the people you feel most comfortable with
the ones you trust and can allow yourself to be open with
so while thats something that cannot be given
i can at least make effort to encourage it

[lyingheart]

Home is my illusion. It's nothing I'll have again, not physically. That's okay. I don't know how much I realized you could find that place with people until it had been gone. It's still not something I'm comfortable with.

I don't enjoy welcoming pain, no matter what I say about living in this moment. I'm not so strong for all of that.

[ it's her way of agreeing that it's complicated. trusting to be open... she more trusts that she, or they, will leave. and that's expected. and not okay, but life. nothing about it needs to be fair. she doesn't look for fairness, or even reciprocation.

but she hesitates. she's enough of that kind of coward that now and again, she has to hesitate. ]