glowsferatu | IC CONTACT

EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO BE CONSIDERATE!
I COULD JUST INUNDATE YOU WITH CHATTER BUT INSTEAD I TRY AND ASCERTAIN WHETHER THIS IS A GOOD TIME.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE IN YOUR INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT AND JAM PACKED SCHEDULE TO CHAT?
NO? WELL OKAY THEN! I RESPECT YOUR TIME, SO WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK IN TOUCH WHEN OR, MORE LIKELY, IF THERE EVER HAPPENS TO BE EVEN A SECOND'S WINDOW FOR ME TO TROUBLE YOU IN?

sorry i think you misunderstood me
what i mean to say is that you dont need to worry about whether or not im busy
just take for granted that im not too busy
if i dont answer than im either sleeping or otherwise physically incapable
and in the rare event that i respond by underlining my busyness then something of catastrophic urgency is probably happening
the gulf between me being busy and me being so busy that i cant be interrupted by you is a very wide one

Edited 2015-08-23 04:18 (UTC)

OH.
WELL YEAH OBVIOUSLY ORDINARILY I KNOW THAT AND THAT'S WHAT I'D DO,
AND I'D ASSUME IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TALK YOU'D JUST CATCH UP LATER.
BUT WHAT I'M PROPOSING NOW ISN'T IDLE CHITCHAT.
YOU KNOW ME, UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO THINKS THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW THE INS AND OUTS OF EVERYONE ELSE'S PERSONAL LIVES, I MIND MY OWN BUSINESS AND HAVE SOME BASIC RESPECT FOR THE CONCEPT OF PRIVACY.
LIKE, IF THERE'S ONE THING YOU KNOW ABOUT ME, IT'S THAT.
SO YOU KNOW WHEN I ASK IF YOU'RE BUSY AND THEN PROPOSE GETTING DOWN TO THE BUSINESS OF CLEARING THE AIR IN THE ROOM,
THE AIR THAT IS THICK AND SOUPY WITH THE NOXIOUS GASSES THUNDERING FROM THE POWERFUL ASSHOLE OF THE AS YET UNACKNOWLEDGED TRUNKBEAST,
IT'S ONLY AFTER HAVING GIVEN YOU AMPLE TIME TO COME CLEAN ON YOUR OWN, AND DETERMINING THAT THIS IS BECOMING A SITUATION.

SO. ARE YOU BUSY?

[ Sometimes, she really wonders if he wants her to say yes, but at this point she just wants to know what the hell he's even talking about. ]

no
i am not busy

GOOD.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND LALONDE. THAT WHOLE SITUATION.
DON'T YOU AGREE?
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME TO GIVE ME THE LOWDOWN ON YOUR OWN AND YOU HAVEN'T, SO NOW I'VE HAD TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS.

you know come to think of it i might be busy after all
yes i can see my schedule very suddenly and alarmingly filling before my very eyes to so unfortunately prevent me from any further discussion of this topic either now or in the foreseeable future

TOO FUCKING BAD. WE'RE IN THIS SHIT. WE'RE DOING THIS.
YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING.
LIKE I SAID, I UTTERLY RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY BUT DON'T YOU THINK DEEP DOWN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

im not really sure that i should want to
i dont know anything about us in your timeline or if there would have been anything for you to recognize that i should anticipate the situation being at all relevant to you
our relationship could have taken an entirely different direction under the circumstances as ive had them outlined
maybe another quadrant
maybe no quadrant at all
what situation are you even expecting to see between the two of us

OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT.
IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND TO CONSIDER WHETHER THINGS WERE JUST DIFFERENT IN THIS TIMELINE, NO BIG DEAL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FAILED TO IMAGINE THIS POSSIBILITY.
THIS POSSIBILITY WHERE THE TWO OF YOU ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS
DESPITE THE INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS AND FRANKLY SCANDALOUS SNARKY HORSESHIT THAT PASSES FOR FLIRTATION AMONG YOUR KIND FROM HOUR FUCKING ZERO OF YOUR MUTUAL COMMUNICATIONS, YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN THAT TIMELINE IS OBVIOUSLY BEST DESCRIBED AS GAL PALS.

GAL PALS WHO LIVE IN DIFFERENT CITIES AND NEVER SEE EACH OTHER.
AND NEVER FUCKING MENTION ONE ANOTHER.
EXCEPT TO SEND CRYPTIC PRIVATE MESSAGES TO THIRD PARTIES ABOUT HOW TO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER.
HEY DAVE SO WHEN YOU TALK TO MY BEST FRIEND ROSE, WHO I AM COMPLETELY COOL WITH AND THERE'S NOTHING AWKWARD BETWEEN US WHATSOEVER, TRY TO BE CONSIDERATE OF HER FEELINGS BUT AGAIN I REITERATE KEEP MY NAME OUT OF IT EVEN THOUGH THERE'S REALLY NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON.
DOES THAT RING A DONG SHOUTER.

GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN CREDIT, KANAYA. THAT'S INSULTING.

im not talking about what you dont know its what i dont
i know fully well what we are in my timeline and i know what we have been
but what i dont know is whats going on where youre from
obviously im not going to just voluntarily talk about my relationship problems when the very existence of such a relationship could only further underline how doomed i am
i cant handle that possibility
im not reserving credit from you im simply recognizing my own weakness

why does dave have to detail for you literally everything i say to him to begin with

OF COURSE HE DOES, WHY WOULDN'T HE?
WE'RE BEST BROS FOR LIFE AND WE ABIDE BY A STRICT CODE OF BRO CONDUCT. THERE AREN'T ANY SECRETS BETWEEN US, SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT.
BESIDES, HE CARES ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND ROSE, TOO, EVEN IF HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

I REALLY THINK YOU'RE DEFLECTING RIGHT NOW.
FINE, SOMETHING DIFFERENT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IN OUR TIMELINE.
MAYBE YOU'RE INTO VRISKA AGAIN, THAT COULD HAPPEN. MAYBE ROSE FELL DEEPLY IN FLUSH FOR GAMZEE.
BUT IT DIDN'T, AND NOW YOU KNOW IT DIDN'T, SO SPILL.

i want it noted on the record that if on the timeline ultimately determined to be the alpha i found myself once again flushing for vriska i would be very disappointed not only in my counterpart but paradox space as a whole for not only allowing but in fact demanding it

as for rose and i
im not sure what you want me to say
we were together for a very long time
now we are not
its very complicated

THAT'S NOT REALLY AN EXPLANATION.
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHAT HAPPENED?

its a very long story that requires a great deal of contextualization
i dont know that i have the energy to type it all out
but it happened in january

YEAH OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TYPE IT OUT.
JANUARY UNTIL AUGUST IS A LONG TIME, THOUGH, ISN'T IT?
I DON'T KNOW. I'M SURPRISED BY IT.
IS THIS SOMETHING YOU'RE OKAY WITH?

i initiated it
that doesnt mean im okay with it or that it doesnt hurt still
i love her
i dont think i know how not to love her
and much as i would wish otherwise i think she still loves me
but we cant be together
she deserves someone far better than i am

WOW.
I REVOKE MY RESPECTFUL DISTANCE, YOU LOST THE PRIVILEGE OF ME RESPECTING YOUR BOUNDARIES AS SOON AS YOU STARTED SPOUTING HORSESHIT.
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?
REMIND ME EXACTLY WHICH TRASHY RAINBOWDRINKER NOVEL THAT LITTLE SPEECH WAS COPIED WORD FOR WORD FROM? I CAN'T QUITE PLACE IT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE ALL OF THEM.

karkat
when you dont have even the slightest beginning of an inkling as to what youre talking about
you should probably refrain from responding to things like an idiot
this has nothing to do with being a rainbow drinker
and even in the unlikely event that the novels in question were trashy treating actual events that occurred in real life the way you might regard something fictional only communicates to the other party that youve inserted your head so deeply into your own waste canal that the process of suffocation has begun to dull your thinking

Edited (waste canal is such a better phrase) 2015-08-23 18:20 (UTC)

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
I KNOW THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING A RAINBOWDRINKER, I MEANT THAT THE SPEECH YOU GAVE IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF OVERWROUGHT SPEECH SOMEONE IN SUCH A NOVEL MIGHT GIVE WHILE NOBLY RUNNING AWAY FROM THEIR LOVE INTEREST FOR HER OWN PROTECTION. HENCE THE REASON THAT THEY ARE TRASHY IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND HENCE MY DISBELIEF THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAID THOSE WORDS IN A REAL LIFE CONVERSATION.

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED AND I KNOW I'M BEING DISRESPECTFUL TO WHATEVER YOU WENT THROUGH AND IT'S FAIR IF YOU'RE ANGRY AT ME FOR IT.
IT'S ONLY THAT THE IDEA THAT SHE "DESERVES SOMEONE BETTER THAN YOU" SEEMS REALLY UNLIKELY TO ME.
THAT'S ALL.

thats because you have no idea how wretched ive become
you may have seen little glimpses in our interactions so far but they are barely hints at the larger picture
ive lost all right to her love
and she wont even grant me her ire

I HAVEN'T GLIMPSED ANY WRETCHEDNESS.
IF ANYTHING HAS CHANGED IT'S THAT YOU'RE LESS TOLERANT OF MY SHIT.
BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABSURDLY TOLERANT OF MY SHIT SO FRANKLY THIS DEVELOPMENT ONLY EVENS IT OUT TO REASONABLE LEVELS OF TOLERANCE OF MY SHIT BY ANY OBJECTIVE STANDARDS.
AND YOU SEEM MORE ANGRY TOO BUT SELFISHLY I HOPE BEING PISSED OFF AT A LOT OF THINGS THAT SUCK DOESN'T DISQUALIFY A PERSON FROM ALL WORTHINESS OF LOVE OR RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL.

BUT YOU KNOW I'LL GRANT YOU THAT, MAYBE I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND IT'S ACTUALLY AS BAD AS YOU'RE SAYING.
THAT'S STILL NOT HOW IT WORKS. MOST OF US HAVE OUR OWN SICKENING FLAWS AND ARE FUCKED UP ON SOME LEVEL.
BEING LOVED BY SOMEONE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BEING NOT FUCKED UP. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU EARN OR LOSE THE RIGHT TO. IN FACT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO DO THAT. YOU COULDN'T GO AROUND LIKE, HEY ROSE, I'M A GOOD PERSON, SO I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT TO YOUR LOVE AND YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME NOW. SO HOW THE FUCK IS THE REVERSE SUPPOSED TO BE TRUE?
IT ALL ONLY EVER COMES DOWN TO HOW THE OTHER PERSON FEELS ABOUT YOU.

SHIT. I'M NOT ACTUALLY TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU FUCKED UP OR YOU NEED TO GET BACK TOGETHER.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I STARTED THIS TO DO, ANYWAY.
BUT I CAN'T READ YOU SAYING ALL OF THESE THINGS AND LET IT GO.
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO PUNISH YOURSELF WITH ALL OF THIS.

[ Well, that's probably because it's exactly what she's doing. ]

that dichotomy is weak
love cannot be owed but that doesnt mean it cant become undeserved
when youve hurt them or your company can only reflect negatively on them
people like that just shouldnt be involved with anyone whatsoever

I'M TELLING YOU THAT THAT'S GARBAGE.
ESPECIALLY YOU SAYING IT. HOLY SHIT. I KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT THIS IDEA THAT YOU'RE SOME KIND OF TOXIC NIGHTMARE WHO SHOULDN'T BE INVOLVED WITH ANYONE WHATSOEVER IS SO LUDICROUS.
CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT. JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WHATEVER YOU DID, EVEN IF IT SOMEHOW DISQUALIFIES YOU FROM HAVING HER AS A MATESPRIT, PROBABLY DOESN'T MAKE YOU UNWORTHY OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE ELSE FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT?

IF YOU CAN'T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU'RE MAYBE NOT TALKING COMPLETELY RATIONALLY RIGHT NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
BESIDES, ROSE ALWAYS STRUCK ME AS, LIKE. ABSOLUTELY THE HUMAN WHO WOULD HAVE BEST FIT IN ON OUR PLANET.
THIS ENTIRE NARRATIVE SEEMS SO OUT OF LINE WITH THE ACTUAL REALITY WHERE SHE'S PRETTY FUCKING TOUGH AND CAN PROBABLY DECIDE HERSELF IF SOMEONE IS TOO MUCH OF A PROBLEM TO BE AROUND.

ill acknowledge that it contradicts what you know
but that is more a commentary on what information youre in possession of than any reflection of my rationality or actual reality

you certainly dont know her as well as i do
because tough and aloof as she may appear she is still very much human
how well she would fit into alternia is an idea i find incredibly dubious
especially when you consider that a human among ours would be especially targeted
you of all people shouldnt need to be reminded of that

and tough as rose may appear to be
she still breaks
ive felt that for myself
within my own hands

HAHA, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF THAT.
HOW THE NOOKCHAFING FUCK COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE FORGOTTEN.
THANKS FOR TAKING MY STATEMENTS AS LITERALLY AS FUCKING POSSIBLE SO YOU COULD WEDGE THAT ONE IN THERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? IT'S BACKFIRING, BECAUSE CHECK THIS.
ROSE WOULD DEAL WITH HAVING TO "FIT IN" SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EVER HAVE OR COULD.
SHE'S PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY ONE OF US WHO CAN HANDLE VRISKA,
AND BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM THEY'VE USURPED ANY PREVIOUS DELUSIONAL SELF-PROCLAIMED STATUS AS A CAPABLE LEADER I HAVE EVER CLAIMED TO HAVE.
SO FUCK IT. WE CAN SWITCH SINCE WE'RE BOTH PRACTICALLY INTERCHANGEABLE AS SOCIAL REJECTS. FUCK IT. THERE YOU GO.

WHY AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS.
YOU KEEP CLAIMING I CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND WHATEVER AWFUL SHIT THAT'S GONE DOWN THAT YOU'VE PERPETUATED AND THAT HAS SOLIDIFIED YOUR PLACE IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF HORRIBLE AND THE WORST FOREVER.
LET ME AT LEAST POSIT THE THEORY THAT THERE ARE MORE EMBARRASSING TO ENTER HALLOWED HALLS OF PERPETUATING SOME AWFUL SHIT AND THEN GETTING SO UP YOUR OWN ASS ABOUT IT THAT YOU GO AROUND MAKING PRECISELY THAT KIND OF MELODRAMATIC, SELF-FLAGELLATING STATEMENT ALL THE TIME.
I KNOW THEM WELL AND YOU ARE DEEP DOWN IN THERE.

NO ONE DOESN'T 'STILL BREAK.' ESPECIALLY NOT US, WE'RE ALL FUCKED UP AND IT'S TIME WE ALL ADMITTED IT.
THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT THAT, IT'S ABOUT YOU BEING RIDICULOUS.

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