glowsferatu | IC CONTACT

[A card will arrive, in a perfectly simple white envelope. Inside is a card; a pretty ballerina, silhouetted against some stars. Inside that, is a purple scrawl: ]

Kanaya,

This year I failed in my en-devour to find you a suitably pretty gift. In all honesty, I am not sure how appropriate a gift would even be, given how things are. I am of the opinion that a gift is a gift and should come without any ulterior motive, but I am also not that pure of a person.

In any case, happy birthday. I wish you the best and good health. I hope you are looking after yourself with the utmost care.

I'd like to talk, soon, about what happened. I realize that you might not want to and that is perfectly fine. But we should talk, sooner rather than later.

All my love,

Rose.

i cant really speak to what ulterior motive you might have
theres nothing you need to prove or account for
not to me

[ she's almost tempted to say she appreciates the well-wishes, but it would be nothing more than a pleasantry, and even a white lie feels egregious if she's telling it to rose. she still has mixed feelings about rose having any positive feelings towards her whatsoever. she craves them, really. if only she was able to deserve them. ]

i suppose time will allow me to better discuss the matter minus the dramatics employed previously
and perhaps theres much left unsaid
would it be inappropriate to begin by repeating something ive perhaps said already
and tell you im sorry

Kanaya, I've already forgiven you for what little you had to do with it.

im well aware
and that makes ones of us

One of us will have to do for now. I intend to make Norman pay. I wanted you to be aware. I should add that I mean legally and not in an impulsive murder way, though the latter is tempting.

As of now I'm simply collecting all the facts I can.

i tried the latter already actually
i meant to tell you before but i was feeling a bit crazy that day
the man took a knife through his heart with barely a flinch
if hes as difficult to kill as i am i should have cut off his head

Did he hurt you?

youre asking a question you know the answer to already
and physical scars are never the sort to stick to me

[There's a tremble in her voice. Angry, horrified, miserable. ]

I'm sorry -- I'm so, so sorry. I keep trying to fix this and you're still getting hurt.

[ kanaya's reluctant to switch with her, but when she does, her voice is subdued, careful and slow. last time she spoke to rose, she yelled at her. she can't do that again, even if rose is still apologizing. ]

You were still in the hospital, I don't believe you'd even woken yet. There's nothing you could have done, nothing to apologize for.

The worst hurt came from my hands already by that point. You know me, [ at least, rose should know her. so many things she's said to her lately make kanaya wonder if she really does, and that is the only hurt she'd actually hold her responsible for. ] this is the only way I could be expected to respond. For that, for any hurt I may have suffered during it, I neither apologize for nor regret.

I only regret that I didn't succeed.

If he were so easy to kill, then I --

[would have done it long before, now, maybe. hindsight is a weak thing; she's growing to hate it.

she clears her throat.]

If he won't die, however, then there are others ways to make him pay.

[literally. ]

[ if rose had expressed a need for it, kanaya would have tried long ago, well before she was ever brainwashed. you don't do that to someone she cares about without paying the price. but they had to deal carefully with him. it was only after everything went wrong that she had anything concrete, a reason to throw caution to the wind.

she didn't have anything to lose by killing him, at least she thought she didn't. but he still has yet to meet her vengeance, those scales have been left imbalanced. rose is the smarter of them, if she has a plan, kanaya won't hesitate to hear it. ]

What did you have in mind?

Primarily gather evidence as far as possible, for the moment. Regarding my own involvement and his human experimentation.

[She pauses. ]

It might take a while to build a strong enough case against him. Longer than maybe I would like. But if I'm going to do this legally and properly, learning self-discipline will probably be worth it.

[she's gonna take him for everything he's got, is what she's getting at here. ]

I've been...practicing at building cases, recently. Gathering evidence, ensuring evil men get their due in a way less direct than is my custom.

[ her whole echidna thing isn't something she's really spoken with anyone about, so she doubts news has gotten back to heropa about it. she's hardly a big enough deal. but the whole idea behind it was making things right, and legally. if norman osborn is to go down, echidna may succeed where kanaya's failed. ]

If you want to know about the experimentation, it might help to have his accomplice to assist the investigation.

I know that you are not overly fond of the gentle touch I have been trying to extend to you.

[to put it mildly. ]

But I would appreciate your help. Only if you're ready, though.

He is at fault for everything that's come between us, even if there is shared complicity. All of it comes to him.

My attempt at revenge came to nothing, but I will help you accomplish yours. You at least deserve that much.

Then whatever you remember, it would be a great help. Locations, conversations -- anything at all.

The details are spotty, and specifics are difficult to share reliably, but I'll give you what I can. I at least know where the second lab is, where I attacked him. However many others he may have seeded, I can't say.

But my eroded memories aren't all I have to offer. If you need anything...infiltrated, I suppose. What evidence we can't acquire by light of day, we can still take under cover of darkness.

You needn't infiltrate anything. Kate offered up Loki's services for that, given his penchant for illusions.

But what you can recall will be more than enough.

[ kanaya can feel her teeth grinding, of all the people rose could have spoken to about this it had to be kate. ]

Rose, I've done enough wrong in this already, I need the opportunity to do something right. At least give me that much.

[she takes a deep breath. ]

Doing what you're doing is more than enough. Kanaya, I would be infiltrating myself if Loki weren't available to do it instead. He's -- slippery. And, I have to say -- he has far less personal investment than us.

[a beat. ]

I'm trying to be smart about this. Utilize the available resources. Loki is an available resource.

You aren't as tailor-made for or practiced at infiltration as I am. I'm plenty slippery. It's just what he had me doing, when I wasn't openly acting as his thug.

Loki is a resource, yes, but so am I. Don't cut me out of this.

Kanaya, I'm not. You have to understand I'd rather risk Loki than you.

[ she lets out a breath through her nostrils. ]

I'm not afraid of the risk. One doesn't wash her hands of sordid deeds by standing back and watching others do the job for her.

I couldn't content myself if I weren't able to make a meaningful contribution to his undoing. I need this, Rose.

[ because if she's not allowed to feel guilty, and she can't do anything to counter her guilt, what is she to do with herself? ]

[she's rubbing her temples, not that Kanaya can see it. ]

What I asked of you already is meaningful, Kanaya.

[She really, really does not want to bend on this. ]

Asking you to go back again is absurd.

IC CONTACT

card delivery; days late (thanks postal service)

text. days later (thanks guilty hesitation)

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