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He is at fault for everything that's come between us, even if there is shared complicity. All of it comes to him.

My attempt at revenge came to nothing, but I will help you accomplish yours. You at least deserve that much.

Then whatever you remember, it would be a great help. Locations, conversations -- anything at all.

The details are spotty, and specifics are difficult to share reliably, but I'll give you what I can. I at least know where the second lab is, where I attacked him. However many others he may have seeded, I can't say.

But my eroded memories aren't all I have to offer. If you need anything...infiltrated, I suppose. What evidence we can't acquire by light of day, we can still take under cover of darkness.

You needn't infiltrate anything. Kate offered up Loki's services for that, given his penchant for illusions.

But what you can recall will be more than enough.

[ kanaya can feel her teeth grinding, of all the people rose could have spoken to about this it had to be kate. ]

Rose, I've done enough wrong in this already, I need the opportunity to do something right. At least give me that much.

[she takes a deep breath. ]

Doing what you're doing is more than enough. Kanaya, I would be infiltrating myself if Loki weren't available to do it instead. He's -- slippery. And, I have to say -- he has far less personal investment than us.

[a beat. ]

I'm trying to be smart about this. Utilize the available resources. Loki is an available resource.

You aren't as tailor-made for or practiced at infiltration as I am. I'm plenty slippery. It's just what he had me doing, when I wasn't openly acting as his thug.

Loki is a resource, yes, but so am I. Don't cut me out of this.

Kanaya, I'm not. You have to understand I'd rather risk Loki than you.

[ she lets out a breath through her nostrils. ]

I'm not afraid of the risk. One doesn't wash her hands of sordid deeds by standing back and watching others do the job for her.

I couldn't content myself if I weren't able to make a meaningful contribution to his undoing. I need this, Rose.

[ because if she's not allowed to feel guilty, and she can't do anything to counter her guilt, what is she to do with herself? ]

[she's rubbing her temples, not that Kanaya can see it. ]

What I asked of you already is meaningful, Kanaya.

[She really, really does not want to bend on this. ]

Asking you to go back again is absurd.

It isn't enough.

[ she's always been more of a doer than a thinker, just giving her words for another to act on, it's like giving up. ]

And you aren't asking me to go back, I'm offering. You don't think an opportunity to reframe the context of that place would be better? To have a victory to associate with it?

I don't need to be handled gently, Rose. Nothing will change for me without some level of challenge.

[picture: rose lalonde sliding off her couch, on the floor, groaning into her hands. ]

Kanaya, I just don't think this is a very wise course of action.

Are you saying that as a Seer, or as the person who's been handling me with kid gloves these last four months? I'm not even saying you should send me alone, but you shouldn't toss an option to the wind simply because it's me.

I'm not only aware of the locations, I've seen their use, I know there in them to look. That can be a worthwhile perspective.

I'm saying it as someone who is guilty of recklessness and who has made countless idiotic decisions over the last year.

[and honestly, she's exhausting herself. ]

I'll talk to Kate and to Loki, but not before I navigate the proper course of action with my powers. If I see your physical involvement going south, promise me you'll stay behind.

I have no plans to be reckless. Only useful.

[ she doesn't feel right about that, about the possibility of kate vetoing her participation. this is to important to let kate bishop stand in the way, but saying anything doesn't seem prudent. she can't help worrying rose would take kate's side over hers, and she doesn't know that she'd blame her either, just because kanaya's side is one of them. it's just such an insult if kate was the other.

but it would be such a lousy punishment, if this is it. ]

Should your Sight advise against my direct involvement, I will relent. But at least give me the benefit of looking before you decide.

Edited 2015-06-30 00:24 (UTC)

Alright. Then I will do the thing and see which way the proverbial coin lands.

[The thing is: she could lie. But also, she can't lie to Kanaya. It's a complicated situation. ]

In the mean time -- my original request will help me over a compiling hurdle.

I'll collect what I can. From what I remember, and what I can put to a location. Perhaps we'll have a map, of some sort.

[ she pauses before she continues, the volume seeming to drop out of her voice. ]

I suppose...we'll have to meet. At some point. To discuss our approach.

Only when you're ready. That goes without saying.

[A beat. ]

We can wait, if you'd like, until I have all my ducks in one basket.

I don't think ducks really care to be put in baskets.

But waiting would probably be best. We both have ducks that need to be...basketed first.

[kanaya, don't be cute, this is a serious conversation]

Well, till then, I suppose.