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im not sure you realize how incredibly condescending that sounds to someone in my position
i mean ill grant that condescension is something i partake of my fair share in
but causing offense or hostility is something you trade in at least as often

I offend YOU often, I guess. That doesn't mean that I cause offense or hostility often. I actually get along pretty well with most people. Anyway, when I put my foot in it, I generally try to figure out what went wrong so I can fix it the next time - and so, if that's a concern for you (which it probably is, since being heard is a concern for a huge number of beings from a vast number of walks of life), I can just say with some authority that it's worth remembering that the people and the system aren't one and the same. Because, again, I come from a culture that tried actively to keep me ignorant of the broader world, and the moment that someone treats me like they succeeded? I close my ears to them entirely. And then no one gets anywhere.

the last time i tried to be honest or civil with you
you attacked my values and called me crazy
that isnt because i was on the attack i was simply explaining my position
but i certainly didnt react kindly to it
so i think that maybe you are not the person best suited to teaching this lesson
and your rate of offense is possibly not as minor as you realize
at the same time probably consider that you arent talking to me in a way one would to someone she doesnt think is stupid

of course the system and its people arent the same
but the people will still be products of a system
their actions and attitudes can at times not only reflect that system but perpetuate it
i dont think its tremendously unreasonable to express frustration to those instances when that system and the attitudes it promotes are detrimental
it may at times be the only means of defense we have against them and it isnt always going to be as polite as you wish

by all means understanding can be key to maintaining peace
but there are times when it cannot be reliably employed
what i find unreasonable is that you express an expectation for understanding when you have on numerous occasions failed to yourself extend it to others
as someone who is made to cohabit with an alien species that has made little effort to understand her for years you have never been an exception to that difficulty
more often yet another typical example

so if you want to lecture me on the importance of putting the work into bridging boundaries
i will only remind you that those efforts must go both ways

[ She takes a deep breath and pushes down her short temper. You've dealt with pricklier people than this. You made a friend of Bartimaeus, after all. ]

You know, I'd really would like to understand more about you and your people. And I'd love to listen if you're willing to talk. That'll take putting past grudges aside, but I'm definitely willing to do so if you are.

to listen and understand requires an extension of good faith
i would be much more confident in that good faith with at least an apology

[ The funny thing about growing up in the circumstances she grew up in is that it gives you a curious sense of pride - what hurts it, what doesn't. You bend or you die. Kitty's a survivor, and so she's learned to bend without remotely compromising her sense of self. So this is easy: ]

All right; sorry.

[ It's just such a shame she's having to bend for someone so insufferably tedious. ]

this is about understanding
that means it needs to be sure that a mutual understanding is shared between us both
what are you sorry for

[ ...Seriously? Fine. ]

I am sorry that we've had miscommunications so often. I'm sorry that I haven't had enough patience to really sit down and understand your context and your situation. I'm still trying to learn how to comprehend and accept all beings, and I'm not there yet. But I would like to get better.

[ There. Not a single embittered Though I'd like to note that you've never tried to understand me, either. Nor, It might have helped if you hadn't deliberately thrown up every single barrier to understanding you possibly could. Just the apology. Kitty is being grown-up today. ]

[ At least the effort won't amount to nothing. ]

and for my part i apologize that ive treated you as ignorant
and let my own impatience get the better of me instead of more respectfully meeting your ideas
no matter how naive i may have considered them
my behavior has in no way been excusable

[ Okay, that loosens a lot of the tension and tames a lot of her anger. She lets out a breath and responds a lot more naturally, a lot less stiffly. ]

No. In a lot of ways, I am terribly ignorant. Where I come from, they designed every aspect of our educations to just make us swallow propaganda and be hateful and xenophobic and fearful. I work hard and read a lot to try to overcome that, so it makes me furious when people act like I can't. So I've lost my temper with you a lot. I'm sorry for that.

So we'll move on from it, yeah?

to be perfectly honest ive been rather a terrible bitch
perhaps more to you than most others
so losing your temper with me cant be solely blamed on you
ive done a poor job of being someone to be gotten along with
even the circumstances that might explain it do nothing to excuse it
that much is on me

i think moving on from it is probably the best course to take
in fact
something happened to me today that has made me think that i have quite a lot of things to move on from
incessant bitchiness especially

Yeah? What is it that happened?

i believe ive mentioned before that my species is extinct
but last night i was given very tangible evidence that we may not be foreever
as long as im successful in my duties

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