glowsferatu | IC CONTACT

[He chuckles at her use of phrase -- sink her teeth into, indeed.]

If a particular performance catches your eye, Kanaya, I would be rather honored to accompany you. While Raina -- my girlfriend -- values highbrow exposure, she prefers to cultivate in the laboratory.

And it isn't particularly comforting, to always venture on one's lonesome.

Well, I don't believe my musical taste could be considered "highbrow" exactly, so it may be best if you selected the event. [ On the other hand, Morrissey is touring the US this summer. That's certainly something Frederick would love to be dragged to. ]

I'm familiar with Raina, if only to a limited degree. The two of you are dating?

[Oh goodness, maybe she ought to broaden his tastes in such a way! Who better to engage outside his comfort zone, after all?]

We have been dating, yes, for quite some time. [A beat. While Chilton adores talking about himself, that gleeful sensation is wholly dependent upon context. But Kanaya had graduated from his parole guardianship -- surely this wasn't the exchange of power he typically feared from former (or even current) patients? Information would always wear some crown of influence, at least to his mind.]

We had quite the connection -- from the time of her first Network post, in fact. Funny how that works out, I rather think this method of communication was somewhat designed to pair us off.

I certainly wouldn't knock the method, myself. Even before arriving here, I used a similar method to communicate to the world around me. [ It was her only way most of the time, rarely hosting guests at home and even more rarely leaving. She'd have been much more isolated, without a computer. ] Many of the most important connections I've ever made began through electronic means.

Though this is perhaps more enhanced than that, not being strictly limited to text.

That's rather fortunate, then. For you. Already an aficionado to that highly communicative medium -- no one could claim that you're short on preparedness.

[A frequent compliment from Chilton, at least when directed to Kanaya, but one he savored nonetheless. While the impulsive could be thrilling, Chilton considered those with (perhaps fortunate) foresight and ability the Darwinian winners.]

Speaking of dating... [Arguably, a clumsy lead-in.] Have you engaged any potential... Flames. Since -- well, since her?

[He'd play on moth to a flame, but outright refrain from speaking Rose's name. Quite the tiptoe game.]

[ First he jokes about moths, next he'll ask her to tell him about her relationship with her mother. This is the way of psychoanalysis.

But something drops in her tone, from something that sounds like it could be smiling to almost alerted, and a little more on guard. It is certainly a sensitive topic. ]

Nothing I've engaged. [ Which sounds too much like there's something she hasn't engaged. She remembers uncomfortably that little imitation of Ramir she'd done for him. ]

I don't... I'm not sure that it's...wise. To inflict myself on anyone.

While I certainly understand that perspective -- given all that you've been through, Kanaya, it isn't an invalid way to consider how you engage with the world -- I do think it's something of a disservice.

[A beat follows. Chilton wasn't precisely a man of sentiment, and nor did he expect great things of any general sentient populace; but he did like individuals. A few individuals. He liked Kanaya, and he considered her capabilities along with her potential.]

You are a positive influence in the lives of others. Maybe -- maybe not all people, but that would be a ridiculous ambition regardless. I'll acknowledge the risk inherent, yes, but inflicting yourself might very well do more good than harm.

Such is my professional, and personal, opinion.

That's kind of you to say, but I'm not sure it's so simple as that. I'm still not sure that my positive influence quite outweighs the negative. Certainly not in anyone with whom I might like to pursue a relationship with. [ She pauses, not sure if she wants to qualify that, but still knowing that she should. ] A positive relationship, at least.

To connect with someone that way, it demands one to...open herself, to expose the other party to so much of herself. There is a remote possibility it would do more good than harm, but I'm not confident that the odds are in its favor.

Quite the complicated outlook.

[But not one he was about to refute; of all his patients, past and present, Kanaya had demonstrated some of the most self-insight. While she could be severely critical of herself (which Chilton was ever so quick to point out), she nevertheless had a firm footing in her identity. It was that reason, in fact, why Chilton chose to commit to actual therapy with him, instead of something more manipulative. Some minds were more resistant to his tactics than others.

It was worth at least a little respect.]

I cannot say my networking pool would make for any ideal toe-dipping into what you've described. [The women Chilton knew who weren't patients were morally ambiguous, and perhaps a few years outside Kanaya's ideal age range.] Though that probably would not be desirable. Regardless. I will have to content myself to simply wishing you well.

[ They probably would be. Four years ago, Kanaya was shocked to even be on the same planet as adults. Now, just being one now is enough of an idea to swallow, dating someone considerably older would just be right out. ]

I'm still not sure I'm ready for anything of the sort, just yet. [ It still feels...almost like it would be a betrayal, if red. Even if she's not with Rose, she doesn't really feel as though her heart is her own. It's not something she was entitled to take back when she left. ] Still, I appreciate your wishes. Perhaps they may bear fruit, one day.

There is something... [His drawl dabbled with silence, as he realized what he was about to say. There is something so remarkable about relationships. Testimony from a man all too used to loneliness and isolation, and probably not the image he wanted to project before a young woman whose opinion did in fact matter to him.]

-- Truly fulfilling. About finding people here. I doubt I could have encountered anyone like Raina back home. [Chilton cleared his throat, all too aware of his brief drift in speech.] But an outing between us doesn't have to involve our respective dates -- hypothetical or otherwise. Your schedule permitting, of course.

[ She lets out a soft laugh, failing to catch his stumble, or perhaps just distracted by the thought that follows it. ]

While I can't fault the idea for the honesty it would undoubtedly express, I do think a double date with my psychiatrist wouldn't be the most promising start to a potential new relationship!

Not that it would preclude any other social interaction. Just...probably not that one.

I suppose that qualm of technicality -- yes, I suppose that ought not be made explicit. [A beat.] Or indulged in, whatsoever.

[Ethical boundaries: still an issue for Frederick Chilton.]

I would not want to scare her off, at any rate. You are right, that would be a rather intimidating setting. Honesty notwithstanding.

[The uneasy chuckle that followed was more a reflection on Chilton's social unease than Kanaya's astute observation.]

At the very least, I'll keep an eye out for you at whatever Swearing-In we might both attend. That seems safe enough.

[ That stumble, and the following backtrack, she gets a little better than the last one, but chuckles at it just the same. ]

And still, not to say something of the sort is completely unthinkable, but certainly not at the beginning. We can wait until she, whoever she may be, would be less likely to scare.

Swear-ins are certainly safe, but I still wouldn't rule out the symphony.

A suitable compromise. [Whatever residual ease that survived his unfortunate chuckle throbbed back into his throat, sincere and smooth again. He was grateful that she was gracious -- social hiccups were especially venomous to Chilton, who frequently courted antagonism but on his own terms. And Kanaya was never intended to be a recipient of his more hesitant nature.]

Give me a call, won't you? When your schedule clears.

[ Social hiccups are no stranger to her, in fact a dose of awkwardness makes him that much more endearing, more personable. It's a quality she can relate to. ]

I will do that, Doctor. And do look after yourself, in the meantime.

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