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[glowsferatu]

If Youve Come This Far I Doubt You Cant Guess What To Do From Here
Mind The Beep

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[crab]

I'm nocturnal. [ There's a certain amount of bitterness in the way he says it, given his reason for calling. ] As you should be well fucking aware. I just-- I just wanted to talk.

[glowsferatu]

Alright, that's fine. Give me just a moment.

[ there's a bit of springing as she eases herself off the bed, and she's glad that her steps tend to be so silent, even if the door does creak as she slips through it. she waits until she's in her sewing room before letting out her glow. ]

Sorry, we may be awake, but Rose doesn't have the same sleeping issue, and I'd rather not inspire it. What did you want to talk about?

[crab]

We're the last two of our species in this entire plane of reality, now. [ As he's sure she's already aware. ]

[glowsferatu]

Oh. That. [ well, she'll want to sit down for this one, then. ] ...I've been trying not to think about it.

We were both always a bit rare to begin with. [ because that's totally the same thing. ]

[crab]

Oh, yeah, I was always a disgusting freak with no place on our planet or in our society. That's really comforting to be reminded of.

[ He says it dryly, with an edge of tiredness. ]

I'm tired of Earth, Kanaya.

[glowsferatu]

I suppose being hidden away in the darkness for the rest of my life isn't so bad in comparison.

But ours is a diaspora that nothing can really be done about. We're the last two left here of maybe three times that overall. A dead race from a dead world in a dead universe. Where else is there for us to go? [ it's too big an existential dilemma, the whole idea of extinction and her part in it. that's why she tries not to think about it. ]

[crab]

I don't know. This was where we were supposed to go, if I hadn't so vigorously fucked us all over, but it doesn't feel like we belong here. Or maybe that's just me. You seem to fit in okay. You even look like they do.

[glowsferatu]

Not by choice. If I could easily maintain the form I'm meant to have, I would. But it's only skin deep, there are many cases where I've had to force my own squarish dowel into the round notch expected of it. You know I'd rather play along than draw attention to that.

[crab]

I'm so sick of the notch expected of us it's a bona fide miracle I haven't succumbed to massive organ failure and the simultaneous expulsion of every inappropriate bodily fluid I possess out of every orifice my body can supply. Do you know how much shit I've taken just because I act like a troll instead of a human? Do you know how old it gets, having to explain every little goddamn idiosyncrasy I might display because, oh, I don't know, I didn't grow up on this fucking planet? I can't even mention that I don't like the sun without someone getting up my ass about it.

[glowsferatu]

This is why I generally avoid the topic rather than explaining it to anyone who raises an eyebrow. There's no point wasting my breath with those who aren't going to understand to begin with.

We adapt as necessary to survive, but even though I can play the part, I still think like a troll. The resulting dissonance isn't something I expect will ever go away.

[crab]

I don't want to play the part. [ He says, a little softer than the impassioned rant prior. ] I was different enough, to begin with.

[glowsferatu]

I wasn't suggesting it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Playing the part isn't true adaptation, it merely mimics it on the surface. You shouldn't have to hide who you are.

Though I can appreciate how hard it must be. How lonely.

[crab]

This was supposed to be a paradise planet. For us. [ Strained. A moment of hesitation. ] Do you think it's my fault-- the cancer's fault, that it isn't?

[glowsferatu]

[ she's quiet a moment. if she were looking at him, she'd give him an earnest look in response. ]

No. Absolutely not. I don't even know what connection this world, any of these worlds has to paradox space.

But one thing I can be certain of, whatever s flawed in them, they did not inherit it from your actions.