[ kanaya's brows knit and she wonders if maybe it's just that she's only seeing it as a garment rather than actually worn. sure, karen has a lot more to show off, but if kanaya did she couldn't see herself making that kind of fashion decision. ]
[ She folds the costume over her arm. If Kanaya had been a man, she likely would have had no patience for judgment. She wears what she wants. It's her decision and hers alone. ]
Because it shows what I am: a healthy and proud woman. The costume and mantle say feminine, but my punches scream painful and brutal.
I can't tell you the number of people who underestimated me because they assumed me being a woman meant I was physically incompetent.
[ she has a point, of course. kanaya can imagine porrim shaking her head for the question even being asked, confidently striding about in her slinky dress.
she wonders if she should feel a bit ashamed, never being comfortable to bare more than her shoulders. legs as long as hers and she still wears ankle-length skirts. ]
I suppose I can understand that sort of thing. Though I generally encounter it more for my age than my femininity.
[ it was never a big deal on the meteor, she was the oldest of the bunch then, even if by just a few months. though her applicable skills in most situations were also limited, so she didn't mind deferring to others.
it was a small group, she trusted most of the people who would put themselves in charge. ]
[ She nods, holding out the costume for Kanaya to take. ]
You are still a minor. Don't take it the wrong way. Unless you reach adulthood earlier back home.
[ But having integrated in human society, she does abide by laws relating to the protection of minors. It's why she won't take Atlee yet to any R-rated movies. ]
There's nothing wrong with being a kid either, but it sounds like you're surrounded by a lot of people who don't understand it doesn't make you totally helpless, right?
[ Court, Maxine, Jakeem, King Chimera... all young and inexperienced in certain areas of life, and maybe naive in some ways, but not helpless or incompetent. She would have never hand picked them if that had been the case. Courtney had to prove herself once upon a time, too. ]
[ she reaches out to take the garment laying it on the table and gently smoothing it out as she appraises the damage more carefully. ]
And what does it really mean to be a minor, anyway? It's an arbitrary age designated for little more than condescension and underestimation.
[ she looks up from the table, back to karen, brushing her bangs out of her face and behind her ear. ] There's nothing my age disqualifies me from that I can't perform just as well, if not better than a so-called adult. And I could likely say that of most "minors" I know.
That part's not necessarily true. Kids still have developing bodies and brains, which is why society implements various laws to protect them. There's a reason kids can't drink until twenty-one in plenty of places, or get into a gory R rated film.
[ She walks over to the chair to take a seat in it, pulling the ends of her shirt down so it covers her backside properly. ]
Yes, let's bar the girl who has actually bisected someone from attending a violent film, you can't tell what sinister impressions it may leave on her innocent mind!
You really don't think that's patronizing? Not even to mention that twenty-one is old for other countries, legalities can't really be used as proof when they vary so much.
[ of course, kanaya doesn't know entirely how troll biology works there, either, except from books when she was a kid. the closest to adults she's ever met were thousands-of-sweeps-old ghosts who still acted like children. ]
Worse than dictating your life? Your trust is so hypersensitive that I can hardly breathe without a perceived betrayal, so it can't really be worse than much of anything!
[ she throws her hands up, somewhere between a rant and a ramble, you can tell there's a lot of bitterness she's venting here. ]
Everything happens, and continues to do so. This isn't any one thing so much as a collection of numerous small ones, all piling up to a mountainous grievance. I don't car if patronization isn't their intention, it's all they really achieve from it over the protection they think it brings. That's only a very thin justification.
[ she finally brings her hands to rest on the table, standing over it. she takes a deep breath and lets it out in a huff, then pulls over a bowl of thread spools, picking out the white ones to find the closest shade. ]
I was thirteen the first time I killed someone. Maturity isn't something that you suddenly reach at a certain age, it comes with experience and necessity. That's what all of those laws are missing.
[ straightening her back, she holds one spool between thumb and forefinger, screwing up her lips as she considers the color. maybe too ivory.
her eyebrows raising, she looks back at karen. ] It was Eridan, by the way. So you don't need to ask. It was the most effective way to keep him from killing anyone else.
[ that's right, make it sound like a completely logical decision. leaving out the hurt, the betrayal, the devastation, and the vengeance will definitely make it go down without a qualm. ]
[ Normally, she would have interrupted someone in the middle of their heated rambling. Literally. She could have clamped Kanaya's mouth shut, but she listens all the way through, though her brows pinch together. ]
It isn't and hey, look, I'm not saying you need your hand held through everything. Kids and teens need to make mistakes. It's normal. What we're supposed to do as a society is ensure those mistakes don't hurt them in ways that could damage their lives, because someday they're going to be the future.
[ She lifts her backside and drags herself and the chair closer over to Kanaya. ]
Your experiences are different, Kanaya. Sure, maturity isn't determined by age, but you aren't about to say you should let a ten year old drink because they said they wanted to, are you? Lines do have to be drawn, regardless of how aggravating they are.
[ As for Eridan... she lets out another sigh. So, this is what she's been dealing with. Kanaya's come across as a surprisingly mature enough kid for the most part, but it looks as if there's plenty of issues beneath the surface that are causing her to lash out like this. ]
Okay, there is a lot going on now. Was Eridan targeting you and your friends?
He'd killed some of us already. [ and, you know, extinction. ] Left unchecked, he would have only ensured the same fate for those remaining.
[ there's a lot she could say to the rest, when she first met renee she told her that if she wanted to keep her from damaging her life, she's a few years too late. but something in karen's response strikes her a bit stronger than the rest. a bit too hyperbolic for her patience. ]
[ Her hands grasp both sides of the chair, fingernails rapping lightly against its frame. ]
You said the law disregards experience and necessity, but like I said, lines do have to be drawn and how would you measure experience in the first place? The law can't always operate on a case by case basis, for minors or adults.
[ she purses her lips, shaking her head. she isn't even looking at the thread anymore as she arranges the spools. ]
What you see as an example looks to me more like a straw effigy of an argument, existing only to be thrown to the fire. It doesn't make where any of those lines are drawn less arbitrary, as the majority of teenagers don't magically understand how to take care of themselves on crossing from seventeen to eighteen.
You're not wrong there. Unless something drastic happened in those twelve months.
Though I do think you're making existing laws out to be a lot more personal than it's ever going to be. [ She's already a bit exhausted from this argument and honestly, a bit confused. ] What is it you want exactly, Kanaya?
KANAYA, CAN YOU GET ME BACK TO HEROPA BEFORE I GET A METAL ROD JAMMED DOWN THE CENTER OF MY FEMUR? THAT WOULD BE GREAT. A HEALER BEING ON HAND WOULD ALSO BE GREAT.
[ He is in Louisiana.
Also under the influence of a fair amount of morphine. ]
I WENT FOR A WALK. IT DIDN'T END WELL. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, A GUY ASKS FOR *ONE FUCKING DAY* OF PEACE TO CLEAR HIS HEAD, LEAVES THE STATE FOR THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF SEEKING THIS PEACE, AND INSTEAD STUMBLES UPON A MURDER SCENE. AN IN-PROGRESS MURDER SCENE. A GUY EXPLODED ON ME AND I GOT THE RESULTING GOO IN MY MOUTH. IT WAS GROSS. IT WAS TRAUMATIZING. I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE NOT TO DISCUSS IT ANY FURTHER THAN THAT.
WELL I SUPPOSE I WAS JUST PITIFULLY OPTIMISTIC IN HOPING THAT MY INTERSTATE STROLL WOULD BE A MURDER FREE UNDERTAKING. CAN YOU JUST GET ME BACK? I'M SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY IN HALF AN HOUR.
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