ᴘsychopomp 💀 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
glowsferatu) wrote2011-05-29 05:20 pm
glowsferatu) wrote2011-05-29 05:20 pm
Entry tags:
[cnc] APPLICATION
[PLAYER INFO]
NAME: King
JOURNAL:kingrockwell
IM: royal.times
[CHARACTER INFO]
CHARACTER NAME: Kanaya Maryam
FANDOM: Homestuck
CHRONOLOGY: pg5442
CLASS: Hero
SUPERHERO NAME: Sylph of Space
ALTER EGO: Kanaya Maryam, part-time troll and amateur fashion designer
BACKGROUND:
Kanaya was born under unique circumstances for the Alternian race, having jade blood. While only in the lower middle of the hemospectrum, it was an event rare enough to carry some heavy importance. And so, a virgin Mother Grub, knowing it would doom her to a relatively short life, elected to become Kanaya's lusus. They settled in the desert oasis, their hive located near ruins. She thrived in the sunlight there, but it gave her some trouble sleeping, which would often lead to her wandering away from her cocoon when she was young. On one of these excursions, she encountered Doc Scratch, who helped her awaken her dream-self, giving her access to visions of the future in Prospit's clouds. One of these visions led her to connect with a Sburb walkthrough Rose Lalonde had written and flung to the Furthest Rungs, outside of time. From this "other source", Kanaya cultivated a romanticized heroic image of Rose that she idolized more than a little.
When she was older, she joined a few friends in playing Sgrub, a game far more complicated and consequential than most of them believed, but Kanaya's sources had warned her of the danger, and she did her best to help guide her friends through it. She was apprehensive toward the whole thing, and said so to Aradia, but fate's a hell of a thing to go up against. Her lusus died well before she entered the game, and according to prior agreement, Kanaya cut the corpse open to acquire the Matriorb within. The Matriorb was, in essence, an egg that would eventually hatch a new Mother Grub, and could only be found in virgins of that species. Kanaya deposited it in her Chastity Modus, which would keep it locked until the key would serendipitously appear just at the most opportune moment. She also gave the blood a taste, just to see what it would be like. She had always had a fascination with literature dealing with rainbow drinkers, their sustenance on blood, darting through the shadows, secret passion and forbidden romance. It was a life she wouldn't mind taking up for herself.
But not today. The blood was perfectly awful.
Kanaya entered late in the game, being the last member of the Red Team. She was Vriska's server player, partly to keep an eye on her moirail and meddle as necessary, partly due to the crush she'd been fostering on the other girl. Mainly she ended up protecting Vriska's own client player, Tavros, from her incessant scheming, but the mediation wasn't on a strong enough level to establish her as an auspistice between the two to avoid locking herself in that quadrant with Vriska while there were other aspects to their relationship Kanaya was still working to resolve her feelings on. This eventually blew up in her face when she caught Vriska exploring her own romantic feelings toward Tavros, quite against the boy's wishes, and while wearing a Tinkerbell dress Kanaya had made for her. Kanaya's been rather chilly with her since, even confiding to Karkat that she was considering just dropping the silly crush.
She and Equius were among those responsible for breaking the division between both teams when she became his client player. As the Sylph of Space, she was in charge of breeding duties, utilizing a complicated cloning process to create the Genesis Frog, who would birth a new universe by spaking the Vast Croak. Though it was weeks before she completed the task, she would later recall it as being expedited compared to how long it should have taken. They named theirs Bilious Slick, a typically derogatory name among Dersians, but the trolls thought it had a nice ring to it. Kanaya also stoked the Forge in the Land of Rays and Frogs without using any magic whatsoever, and used it to destroy the Black Queen's abandoned ring during their playing session.
When the time finally came, she was with the rest of the kids for the confrontation with the Black King, and though they finally defeated him, they were prevented from proceeding to the universe they created by the a tear in paradox space, a scratch, from which emerged Jack Bec Noir. Their door to the Ultimate Reward sliced to ribbons, they retreated back to the Veil, to the meteor where Karkat had earlier started their entire cycle through ectobiology, to regroup and research what caused the scratch. Meanwhile, Jack Noir destroyed Prospit and killed most of the kids' dream selves, including Kanaya's.
In the Veil, Kanaya helped amputate Tavros' legs so that Equius could install robot replacements. The verdict is still out on what Tavros' thoughts on this act were, but Kanaya resolved to undertake it grimly in hopes it would be helpful. After they discovered the human children and their connection to Jack Bec Noir, Karkat gave a grand and soulfelt speech about how they should troll them. Kanaya, though she enjoyed the speech, was a little apprehensive about this plan, especially after learning that one of the targets was her hero, Rose Lalonde, but Karkat encouraged her to get some Snarky Horseshit on against the human girl.
She wasn't able to get her viewport working at first, so she didn't realize that it was actually John speaking to her on her first attempt, since Rose was asleep. Kanaya left the conversation unimpressed and more than a little disappointed. After pestering Sollux to get her viewport open, she was greeted with the sight of Rose's trashed room after John crashed into it with his jetpack, and then a prank he left resulted in a bucket of water being dumped on Rose's head. Given the inseparably sexual connotations of buckets on Alternia, it left Kanaya flustered to the point that she covered her screen before anyone else might've seen the obscene display. Embarrassed, she decided to look in elsewhere in the timeline and ask John for more information, as the fake Rose had suggested. She found this even more frustrating, as John was quite possibly even stupider than the fake Rose, who had now successfully counter-trolled her twice.
She was almost ready to give up, but giving Rose's home in winter one last look endeared her somewhat to the environment and Rose's fashion sense. On the strength of that, she decided to give the girl another chance, and to her surprise, found it to be like talking to an almost completely different person! She liked this Smart Rose much better, and attempted something of an antagonism tango with her while trying to establish a friendship, but may have been a bit over her head with Rose's intelligence and sarcasm and Kanaya's own disdain quickly dwindling into oblivion. So she contacted the Dave Human for counsel on how to deal with Rose, but wasn't entirely sure about his advice, but gave it some weight given he was the Knight of Time. When she finally contacted Rose again, she decided the only possible way to explain their first conversation was that Rose was under the obligation of a stable time loop, so Kanaya sent her a copy of that exchanged, but told her it was edited to prevent her from simply copy/pasting the text into the chatbox next time. Kanaya had this one in the bag for when they finally synced up both sides of their correspondence.
Well, at least until Rose blew up the portal leading her to the next area in her game's session. Kanaya didn't know what to do with that, even though it had been right there in the walkthrough. But while Kanaya was a little speechless over affairs, Rose, in her own way, decided now might be a time to make friends between them. As Rose continued her investigation of Sburb's worldbuild, Kanaya grew increasingly wary. She saw her as playing with dangerous power, and headed toward what might possibly be her doom, as she would blackout from the timeline soon. Kanaya didn't like the idea of any of this, but she continued her correspondence with Rose while seeing what she could do to convince her toward a different course, but all the while wary of repeating the situation she had with Vriska again.
It was around this time that Eridan started pestering her for help again, probably wanting her to auspisctize between him and Rose, who he had developed a grudge against after she insolently continued to use magic, and even did so to blow up his computer when he confronted her over the matter. To get him out of her hair, she alchemized him a Wand of White Science and sent him on his way.
Kanaya had spent a lot of time studying the moment of Rose's blackout, but over her monitor couldn't glean much. It was just sudden and inexplicable. The one detail she did take away is that Rose was talking to Jade at the time, but Jade at that time had put a system in place to manage her interactions and keep them chronologically linear, forcing Kanaya to try talking to her in the past. They both had corresponding roles in their sessions, so she managed to talk Jade through the duties before her, though she also doubted there would be adequate time to devote to them.
At this time, Kanaya confided that she'd actually discovered the key to the card that held the Matriorb, and with Jade's advice, resolved to hatch it there in the Veil, where she'd raise the Mother Grub to ensure the future of the troll's species. Unfortunately, as she was on her way to put this plan into action, she was interrupted by Eridan's sudden appearance. Following a disagreement where he expressed a desire to join Jack Bec Noir for the sake of his own survival, he ended up in a fight with Sollux, and the power of his White Science left the other boy incapacitated. Feferi wasn't too pleased with this, but he killed her with a single blast before she had a chance to act. Kanaya, still shocked by the unfolding of these events, flinched, giving Eridan time to destroy the Matriorb she'd dropped. In a rage, she charged him with her chainsaw, but he was quicker on the draw, and shot her right through the abdomen.
No two ways about it, she was dead when he left that room.
Karkat, though ignored, had been standing there the whole time, and simply could not take anything about this situation. Generally freaking out as much as he could manage, he did his best to revive Kanaya, but her dream-self had long since died, and there was no chance of success. As other things came to a head, he had to take Sollux and abandon the computer room to ensure their own safety. He turned his back on the body.
Kanaya remained unconscious as her body transitioned into this new state of being undead, but her motor skills took over enough for her to reach Feferi's body and drink her most royal blood for her own purposes. She managed to stay out of Terezi's senses when she came by to examine the scene, and managed to sneak up on her for a quick sip, just to top her off. She regained consciousness at this point, and carefully bandaged the fang marks she left on Terezi, and took the cape Eridan left to tie around her own gaping abdominal wound, before darting away into the shadows.
She stalked across the meteor at this point, seeking her prey, and slashing transportalizer pads behind her so as not to be followed. Eventually she caught up with her target as he was locked in a showdown with two others. Kanaya felt it appropriate to interrupt, and when you glow in the dark, you tend to get attention rather quickly. After giving Gamzee a swift kick in the crotch, he launched out of his shoes and down a nearby cliff, the shades he stole from Equius flying into the air. Not losing a second of momentum, Kanaya charged from there to punch Vriska right in the mouth, sending her flying. The obstacles dealt with, she turned her attention to Eridan, who was to beside himself with shock to do anything to stop her. She snatched his wand away and snapped it in half in a simple movement, then whipped out her chainsaw and gave him a similar treatment.
Revenge achieved and the villain slain, Kanaya took a moment to catch Equius' shades with her face and touch up her makeup, as Vriska looked on with hearts in her eyes.
UPDATED AS OF AUGUST 21st, 2011 TO THIS PAGE
After culling Eridan, Kanaya leaves Vriska to deal with her romantic confusion as she turns her thoughts once again to Rose entering the blackout, as viewed through the Trollian client in the shades she'd inherited from Equius. She finds Sollux wandering around after Karkat abandoned him, and helps guide the now-blind hacker to safety (after having a quick bloody snack out of him, whoops :/).
When the two caught up with Karkat and Terezi, they found that Vriska had put to a just death, much to Kanaya's consternation. This was, unfortunately cut short by an attack from Gamzee, though the battle wasn't detailed in canon (eta: until just as i was writing her reintro, when the great shoooshpap happened), and the implications are that Karkat was the major participant in it. Afterwards, Kanaya opens a memo to discuss the duties of the Space domain and frog-breeding with Jade and a Karkat from earlier in the timeline. It's at the end of this conversation that she'll be ported in.
UPDATED NOVEMBER 21st, 2012 TO THIS PAGE
Moments after returning, the trolls in the Veil are met with the signal they've been waiting for, a bright green flare. Sollux uses his telekinesis to launch their meteor through hyperspace to meet that point, but overexerts himself and dies in the process, leaving Kanaya and Terezi to awkwardly regard the body (Kanaya probably extra awkwardly because hey look at all that blood going to waste) while Karkat cries into Gamzee's bosom. They're interrupted by the appearance of Aradia, Rose, Dave, and Sollux's half-ghost other self whatever thing. Introductions are truncated as the situation is laid out, it essentially boils down to a three year journey through the realm of dark, Lovecraftian gods to reach a new session of Sburb, that game behind the whole plot. But Jack Noir, the demon who'd escaped from the kids' session to sabotage the one the trolls were in, would be hot on their trail through the entire trip.
When she heard Aradia and Sollux say they would be saying behind, Kanaya elected to do the same. She'd amounted to nothing more than a failure and a dead weight, as far as she cared, having lost the Matriorb she needed to continue the troll race, and three years in infinite darkness struck her as too hard to endure. Floating uselessly in the rays of the Green Sun where she wouldn't be a bother to anyone whatsoever seemed like a kinder alternative. Aradia ensured her that she still had her purpose to fulfill beyond just lighting the way to people passing through the darker hallways, and while Rose couldn't use her abilities as a Seer to discern whether another Matriorb could be acquired, she plead with Kanaya to stay with them anyway.
Kanaya does relent, but she's still hesitant to put the Green Sun behind, until she's distracted by the fact that Gamzee had dragged away Sollux's corpse, along with Vriska's, which had also been just offscreen that entire time apparently. It's the second that Kanaya's primarily concerned with, and so she pulls out her chainsaw, still covered in Eridan's blood, and resolves to go hunt Gamzee down. Karkat begs her not to, not wanting to see either of his two best friends kill each other, and even tries to enlist Rose's help, but he's mostly met with blank stares. But then a bucket appears out of nowhere and hits him in the head! In it is a letter John had written them from the beginning of his own three year journey with Jade and Davesprite. Karkat freaks out over its casual mention of potential troll/human sloppy makeouts and starts hallucinating this meetup to be far more amorous than it actually was. It was incredibly silly. But then the Mayor showed up so it was time to go, so Aradia and Sollux combined their telekinetic abilities to launch the meteor off at the speed of light, and the race was afoot.
As they journeyed through the Furthest Ring, they passed through numerous dream bubbles, a mechanic supplied by the Horrorterrors where the dead from numerous branching timelines are allowed to dwell. They visited it not only as the meteor physically would pass through them, but in their dreams as well, encountering multiple versions of their friends, some from their memories, others from doomed timelines where a different progression, sometimes a seemingly more successful one, led to their death and failure. It was weird.
Also during this time, Kanaya regularly led Clown Hunting Expeditions, but the juggalo always managed to elude her. Dude lived in the vents for years. But she spent most of her time researching the conditions of the session they would be traveling to with Rose and indulging in lavish interior decorating projects. They had a lot of time to kill.
It was about a year into the journey when they passed through a dream bubble where they suddenly saw John impaled by a trident that shook him awake out of the bubble. It was thrown by an unknown troll who oddly shared Feferi's sign and caste (her name was Meenah Peixes, and in a previous version of the trolls' universe, she was the teenage version of girl who would grow up to be Her Imperious Condescension, the tyrant Empress of Alternia), and it was intended for a sleepwalking dream self from Derse that belonged to Roxy Lalonde, Rose's mom from the other side of the scratch, and one of the players in the new session they were headed toward. Karkat and Dave sprung to attack Meenah, keeping her from causing further harm. Kanaya leaped in to get her from above, but the fight was broken up the the arrival of Aranea Serket, a friend of Meenah's and related to Vriska's ancestor in the same way Meenah was to Feferi's.
Aranea broke up the fight and the two of them explained how their own session of Sburb/Sgrub went, but Terezi was the only one who was actually paying attention. Rose and Dave were discussing the presence of their teen mom and that of Jake English, who'd followed Aranea in from a dream of his own and appeared to be similarly related to Jade and John, amongst themselves while Kanaya just stood nearby, not entirely sure what was going on. When Aranea told Meenah about the Condesce, Jake attacked her due to the effect her alternate counterpart had on his world, but Meenah was too busy fangirling over herself to care. Aranea also broke up that fight by bopping Jake on the head, forcing him awake and out of the dream.
Jake had brought along a mental projection of Dirk Strider, it's complicated and it was left behind when he left the dream bubble. But when both Dirk's real self and dream self were knocked unconscious, he woke up in the place of this projection. It was awkward. Kanaya might've noticed the resemblance between him and his ectobiological spawn. He didn't stay long, as things had gotten a little stressful back home, he just took Roxy's dream self and went on his way. The Mayor's firefly friend Serenity was on Roxy's head at the time and sailed off with her as the meteor flew off to continue its own journey. The Mayor was sad.
The trip continued for another year, until Lord English, the big villain of the story, started blowing up dream bubbles and causing cracks in the Furthest Ring. This inspired Meenah to start putting together an army to fight back, and she encountered our heroes as well. Rose was a too enthusiastic to reach the new session, but said they would probably end up helping once things were settled there. Kanaya wouldn't have minded a fight, but Rose shook her head and she thought the whole undertaking was stupid anyway. When Meenah asked if the two were an item, Kanaya responded with a bashful "Maybe."
Also in this bubble were other members of Meenah's party, including Kanaya's ancestor, Porrim, who intimidated her a great deal, being a romantically experienced and self-assured rainbow drinker who knew what she was doing and who she wanted to be, with her cool tattoos and her immaculate fashion sense and everything. Kanaya was inclined to avoid her out of nervousness, but she did finally talk to her with some encouragement from Rose.
It was a really good talk. In addition to learning about how rainbow drinkers work and the fact that it was a condition that affected all jadebloods (as Porrim was the first other member of her caste she'd met, they're mad rare yo), she learned how to shut off her glow and was given some great advice regarding her purpose to continue their legacy, her hopes, her worth. After two yeas, she was starting to feel okay, to think she might have a brighter future than she expected. When she related this to Rose later, Rose was a little concerned with the lack of glowing (what can she say, she's a fan of Light), but was pleased enough that she ended up asking her out for the evening. Meenah, who was in tow because Kanaya wouldn't let her pass through where the dream bubble intersected with their meteor unattended, was annoyed to have to witness this. When Meenah saw Karkat sleeping on top of Gamzee's hornpile in the back room, she was going to invite him to join her army like he'd agreed to earlier, but Kanaya sent her packing instead.
That night, Kanaya ended up waiting two hours for Rose to meet her. She wasn't really expecting anything from the meeting, just some mutual time or something. She kind of underdressed. When Rose never showed, she was annoyed, but decided to go looking for her instead of assuming the worst. She found her with an exasperated Dave in the computer lab, drunk out of her gourd and dressed to the nines. She'd been playing with alchemy earlier and ended up with alcohol, and took a drink for her nerves. One drink led to more, and she ended up losing track of time. But despite Dave's protests and Kanaya's uncertainty, Rose insisted that the date would continue (and also stopped insisting that it wasn't a date).
So, with Kanaya keeping her steady, the two of them went for a walk. A stray honk in the distance reminded Rose of something else she'd learned that day, of Gamzee and Terezi's kismesissitude and the way she was afraid it may cause a schism between their group if it became known. By now Kanaya'd given up trying to kill him, and though reluctant to suggest it due to her lack of success with trying before, mentioned auspisticism as a potential option. Rose was ecstatic to hear the solution, and convinced Kanaya to teach her what she could about accomplishing it, before the smitten Seer used the talk of quadrants to segue into the one she was really after before stumbling right out of Kanaya's arms and down the stares.
Kanaya will be pulled from right in the middle of the kiss, flustered and entirely discombobulated.
The major change she'll go through from this update is that she'll be coming from a place where she was actually happy, where she believed in a future she could improve, where she had hope. Of course, she'll come back to having that blended with her 18 months in the City that have gone in far bleaker directions, so having the two very different perspectives will take some time to resolve, but will hopefully and eventually end in a much more positive existence for Kanaya Maryam. She's been through enough, I figure she's earned that from me.
PERSONALITY:
Kanaya is a very dutiful girl. She takes a grim resolution to dirty jobs, because she knows they simply have to be done, so it might as well be her that does them. The way her lusus raised her has instills very strong maternal instincts in her, so she's always looking out for everyone else. She's a very helpful person, and will go to whatever length to make sure her friends are in good condition, and to make sure to prevent any that would cause trouble. For this, she's known by many of them as a meddler.
She has a nearly impenetrably calm demeanor under most circumstances, but it can crack with embarrassment or anger under the right circumstances. She is still learning sarcasm but has taken to it rather well, the only real obstacle is her helpful habit of making sure people know when she's joking or not sometimes sabotaging her attempts at humor. On the other hand, it also makes for an effective deflection.
Because of the way she focuses on the problems others have, she has a tendency to neglect her own needs. She's not a particularly forward or aggressive person, and can be terribly shy and distrustful when it comes to her own feelings. If someone calls her on any topic relating to herself, she'll get defensive and really transparently deflective. She has a habit of maybe hinting at issues and then backing off once people start to glean what she's saying. It's like a need to share what's going on in her life, but at the same time an insurmountable fear of sharing. When someone else is the topic of discussion, she has much less apprehension for sharing her thoughts and feelings.
This may go back to her taste in literature, particularly romance novels focusing on SECRET ROMANCE and FORBIDDEN PASSION. The secrecy and PASSION are mostly what appeal to her, as it fits her outlook on things, and apprehension for airing her own feelings. It's a life she romanticizes and does her best to emulate. She could never pull off the rainbow drinker part before, but who's to say now that she has that aspect covered.
Kanaya is far more interested in aesthetics and bright colors than utilitarianism, and has a practiced eye when it comes to fashion, landscaping, and interior design. She especially likes to make design and sew ensembles for her friends, and regularly shares her opinion with them on whatever outfit they may be wearing at any given time. She's always found it a good icebreaker when first meeting people or distraction in uncomfortable times.
POWER:
Rainbow Drinker ~ At times of great stress, Kanaya will revert to her original troll form, horns and fangs intact and with her skin glowing a brilliant white. In this form, she's much stronger, faster, and more durable. She can survive and even repair otherwise fatal wounds, but they require her to drink enough blood to make up for the loss. The form also thrives on sunlight, and requires enough to be absorbed to maintain her glow at night.
TO ELABORATE POST-UPDATE For one thing, her thirst for blood only grows in this form when not satiated, but isn't present when she's in her human form. The blood also powers her healing factor, as I'd noted before, so it slows as she becomes more thirsty, and only resumes it's normal pace after she's taken a snack. Blood from other trolls also has a vaguely alcoholic effect on her, each color in its own unique way, but this isn't really the case with human blood.
She's solar-powered, that doesn't only help maintain her glow, but is one of her main sources of sustenance. Cutting her off from it for an extended period of time will noticeably weaken her, and if she goes without it long enough she may actually die (again). For this reason, she has a very bad physical reaction to things that directly cut off her contact with the sun, such as sunscreen, though she can maintain herself in darkness without issue if she's got anywhere near a normal amount of solar energy reserved.
After the update, I'd like her to keep a slight glow even in her human form, though it'd be most perceptible in the dark. In light it comes off as only a slight shimmering.
Wardrobifying ~ With a snap of her fingers, Kanaya can make any ensemble she imagines appear on an intended target.
Makeupkind ~ She brought along her jade-and-black lipstick that transforms into a white chainsaw.
Spaceweaving ~ Kanaya can perceive and recognize the source of the threads of space, then manipulate them to various effects: drawing them toward her to attract the person, object, or location they're connected to close to her; cutting them and splicing extensions to repel them; maybe plucking them would give the objects or people a small shiver, though it would be as likely to effect location; she may also be able to cross two threads to draw them together, but probably not so much to where they crash into each other (at least, again, not with locations).
The way it works is it actually appears as if she's pulling whatever's at the end of the thread, like, say, a building edifice just suddenly zooming into where she is. Logistically, this isn't the case. As she manipulates each thread, what's really happening is that dimensional bridges, like portals, are being created between the two points for easy travel between them.
This ability is considered magical in nature.
In addition, Kanaya has the following items on her person upon arrival:
~ Equius' sunglasses, though the Trollian app they're installed with won't be of any use.
~ Eridan's cape, stained with her own blood. At least at first.
[CHARACTER SAMPLES]
COMMUNITY POST (FIRST PERSON) SAMPLE:
Theres A Unique Element To The Sun Here That Im Finding Myself Rather Fond Of
Something About The Method In Which The Golden Color Interacts With Those Surrounding It
I Find It
Enjoyable
I May Need To Reimagine A Few Ensembles To Match These New Circumstances
But There Are Obviously More Important Matters At Hand Right Now
I Require Information About This Location
This Is Earth I Believe Or At Least A Planet Very Similar To It
I Would Hope Im Not The Only One Here
So If Anyone Else Is Here I Would Appreciate You Checking In
Karkat If Youre Here Then Im Sure You Have Notes Youd Like To Share
LOGS POST (THIRD PERSON) SAMPLE:
After an hour, she'd managed to wash all the blood off. The tub might be stained with purple for quite some time afterwards, but she would find a way to deal with it.
What really bothered her was the bare, white, boring walls. No character, no style, no sense of identity. Perfectly useful, yes, but little more. She looked at them closely and tried to imagine what sort of colors would be most palatable, painting a picture in her mind of brilliant patterns and soft fabrics across the walls. She'd have to acquire paint and material soon.
She had other priorities that were more tantamount at the moment. A new world to grow accustomed to, new issues this world arises with it, things to do, people to see. Some she hoped never to deal with again, others she...but let's not worry about that right now.
This City was a much larger place than she was used to living in. With a larger size, comes more people, and with more people come more problems. It was more than she'd be able to handle to take care of it all, which worried her more than she thought was rational. Until now, she'd navigated smaller groups where she could feasibly handle anything that arose. What worried her wasn't that she wouldn't be able to watch over everyone, that was an immutable act that would do best to acknowledge. But the idea of consciously limiting herself so that she didn't try? Well, that was an uncomfortable piece of self-awareness to confront.
She supposed this might prove to be a valuable learning experience for all involved, herself included. She'd along help those she could, but there would still be those she couldn't, and she'd have to come to understand that. She took another look at the blank, bland, boring wall. Maybe this would be a good time to begin personalizing the room after all. Could prove an adequate distraction.
FINAL NOTES ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER:
Kanaya's human form is ethnically Indian, and her skin has only a mild glow to it in that form.
NAME: King
JOURNAL:
kingrockwellIM: royal.times
[CHARACTER INFO]
CHARACTER NAME: Kanaya Maryam
FANDOM: Homestuck
CHRONOLOGY: pg5442
CLASS: Hero
SUPERHERO NAME: Sylph of Space
ALTER EGO: Kanaya Maryam, part-time troll and amateur fashion designer
BACKGROUND:
Kanaya was born under unique circumstances for the Alternian race, having jade blood. While only in the lower middle of the hemospectrum, it was an event rare enough to carry some heavy importance. And so, a virgin Mother Grub, knowing it would doom her to a relatively short life, elected to become Kanaya's lusus. They settled in the desert oasis, their hive located near ruins. She thrived in the sunlight there, but it gave her some trouble sleeping, which would often lead to her wandering away from her cocoon when she was young. On one of these excursions, she encountered Doc Scratch, who helped her awaken her dream-self, giving her access to visions of the future in Prospit's clouds. One of these visions led her to connect with a Sburb walkthrough Rose Lalonde had written and flung to the Furthest Rungs, outside of time. From this "other source", Kanaya cultivated a romanticized heroic image of Rose that she idolized more than a little.
When she was older, she joined a few friends in playing Sgrub, a game far more complicated and consequential than most of them believed, but Kanaya's sources had warned her of the danger, and she did her best to help guide her friends through it. She was apprehensive toward the whole thing, and said so to Aradia, but fate's a hell of a thing to go up against. Her lusus died well before she entered the game, and according to prior agreement, Kanaya cut the corpse open to acquire the Matriorb within. The Matriorb was, in essence, an egg that would eventually hatch a new Mother Grub, and could only be found in virgins of that species. Kanaya deposited it in her Chastity Modus, which would keep it locked until the key would serendipitously appear just at the most opportune moment. She also gave the blood a taste, just to see what it would be like. She had always had a fascination with literature dealing with rainbow drinkers, their sustenance on blood, darting through the shadows, secret passion and forbidden romance. It was a life she wouldn't mind taking up for herself.
But not today. The blood was perfectly awful.
Kanaya entered late in the game, being the last member of the Red Team. She was Vriska's server player, partly to keep an eye on her moirail and meddle as necessary, partly due to the crush she'd been fostering on the other girl. Mainly she ended up protecting Vriska's own client player, Tavros, from her incessant scheming, but the mediation wasn't on a strong enough level to establish her as an auspistice between the two to avoid locking herself in that quadrant with Vriska while there were other aspects to their relationship Kanaya was still working to resolve her feelings on. This eventually blew up in her face when she caught Vriska exploring her own romantic feelings toward Tavros, quite against the boy's wishes, and while wearing a Tinkerbell dress Kanaya had made for her. Kanaya's been rather chilly with her since, even confiding to Karkat that she was considering just dropping the silly crush.
She and Equius were among those responsible for breaking the division between both teams when she became his client player. As the Sylph of Space, she was in charge of breeding duties, utilizing a complicated cloning process to create the Genesis Frog, who would birth a new universe by spaking the Vast Croak. Though it was weeks before she completed the task, she would later recall it as being expedited compared to how long it should have taken. They named theirs Bilious Slick, a typically derogatory name among Dersians, but the trolls thought it had a nice ring to it. Kanaya also stoked the Forge in the Land of Rays and Frogs without using any magic whatsoever, and used it to destroy the Black Queen's abandoned ring during their playing session.
When the time finally came, she was with the rest of the kids for the confrontation with the Black King, and though they finally defeated him, they were prevented from proceeding to the universe they created by the a tear in paradox space, a scratch, from which emerged Jack Bec Noir. Their door to the Ultimate Reward sliced to ribbons, they retreated back to the Veil, to the meteor where Karkat had earlier started their entire cycle through ectobiology, to regroup and research what caused the scratch. Meanwhile, Jack Noir destroyed Prospit and killed most of the kids' dream selves, including Kanaya's.
In the Veil, Kanaya helped amputate Tavros' legs so that Equius could install robot replacements. The verdict is still out on what Tavros' thoughts on this act were, but Kanaya resolved to undertake it grimly in hopes it would be helpful. After they discovered the human children and their connection to Jack Bec Noir, Karkat gave a grand and soulfelt speech about how they should troll them. Kanaya, though she enjoyed the speech, was a little apprehensive about this plan, especially after learning that one of the targets was her hero, Rose Lalonde, but Karkat encouraged her to get some Snarky Horseshit on against the human girl.
She wasn't able to get her viewport working at first, so she didn't realize that it was actually John speaking to her on her first attempt, since Rose was asleep. Kanaya left the conversation unimpressed and more than a little disappointed. After pestering Sollux to get her viewport open, she was greeted with the sight of Rose's trashed room after John crashed into it with his jetpack, and then a prank he left resulted in a bucket of water being dumped on Rose's head. Given the inseparably sexual connotations of buckets on Alternia, it left Kanaya flustered to the point that she covered her screen before anyone else might've seen the obscene display. Embarrassed, she decided to look in elsewhere in the timeline and ask John for more information, as the fake Rose had suggested. She found this even more frustrating, as John was quite possibly even stupider than the fake Rose, who had now successfully counter-trolled her twice.
She was almost ready to give up, but giving Rose's home in winter one last look endeared her somewhat to the environment and Rose's fashion sense. On the strength of that, she decided to give the girl another chance, and to her surprise, found it to be like talking to an almost completely different person! She liked this Smart Rose much better, and attempted something of an antagonism tango with her while trying to establish a friendship, but may have been a bit over her head with Rose's intelligence and sarcasm and Kanaya's own disdain quickly dwindling into oblivion. So she contacted the Dave Human for counsel on how to deal with Rose, but wasn't entirely sure about his advice, but gave it some weight given he was the Knight of Time. When she finally contacted Rose again, she decided the only possible way to explain their first conversation was that Rose was under the obligation of a stable time loop, so Kanaya sent her a copy of that exchanged, but told her it was edited to prevent her from simply copy/pasting the text into the chatbox next time. Kanaya had this one in the bag for when they finally synced up both sides of their correspondence.
Well, at least until Rose blew up the portal leading her to the next area in her game's session. Kanaya didn't know what to do with that, even though it had been right there in the walkthrough. But while Kanaya was a little speechless over affairs, Rose, in her own way, decided now might be a time to make friends between them. As Rose continued her investigation of Sburb's worldbuild, Kanaya grew increasingly wary. She saw her as playing with dangerous power, and headed toward what might possibly be her doom, as she would blackout from the timeline soon. Kanaya didn't like the idea of any of this, but she continued her correspondence with Rose while seeing what she could do to convince her toward a different course, but all the while wary of repeating the situation she had with Vriska again.
It was around this time that Eridan started pestering her for help again, probably wanting her to auspisctize between him and Rose, who he had developed a grudge against after she insolently continued to use magic, and even did so to blow up his computer when he confronted her over the matter. To get him out of her hair, she alchemized him a Wand of White Science and sent him on his way.
Kanaya had spent a lot of time studying the moment of Rose's blackout, but over her monitor couldn't glean much. It was just sudden and inexplicable. The one detail she did take away is that Rose was talking to Jade at the time, but Jade at that time had put a system in place to manage her interactions and keep them chronologically linear, forcing Kanaya to try talking to her in the past. They both had corresponding roles in their sessions, so she managed to talk Jade through the duties before her, though she also doubted there would be adequate time to devote to them.
At this time, Kanaya confided that she'd actually discovered the key to the card that held the Matriorb, and with Jade's advice, resolved to hatch it there in the Veil, where she'd raise the Mother Grub to ensure the future of the troll's species. Unfortunately, as she was on her way to put this plan into action, she was interrupted by Eridan's sudden appearance. Following a disagreement where he expressed a desire to join Jack Bec Noir for the sake of his own survival, he ended up in a fight with Sollux, and the power of his White Science left the other boy incapacitated. Feferi wasn't too pleased with this, but he killed her with a single blast before she had a chance to act. Kanaya, still shocked by the unfolding of these events, flinched, giving Eridan time to destroy the Matriorb she'd dropped. In a rage, she charged him with her chainsaw, but he was quicker on the draw, and shot her right through the abdomen.
No two ways about it, she was dead when he left that room.
Karkat, though ignored, had been standing there the whole time, and simply could not take anything about this situation. Generally freaking out as much as he could manage, he did his best to revive Kanaya, but her dream-self had long since died, and there was no chance of success. As other things came to a head, he had to take Sollux and abandon the computer room to ensure their own safety. He turned his back on the body.
Kanaya remained unconscious as her body transitioned into this new state of being undead, but her motor skills took over enough for her to reach Feferi's body and drink her most royal blood for her own purposes. She managed to stay out of Terezi's senses when she came by to examine the scene, and managed to sneak up on her for a quick sip, just to top her off. She regained consciousness at this point, and carefully bandaged the fang marks she left on Terezi, and took the cape Eridan left to tie around her own gaping abdominal wound, before darting away into the shadows.
She stalked across the meteor at this point, seeking her prey, and slashing transportalizer pads behind her so as not to be followed. Eventually she caught up with her target as he was locked in a showdown with two others. Kanaya felt it appropriate to interrupt, and when you glow in the dark, you tend to get attention rather quickly. After giving Gamzee a swift kick in the crotch, he launched out of his shoes and down a nearby cliff, the shades he stole from Equius flying into the air. Not losing a second of momentum, Kanaya charged from there to punch Vriska right in the mouth, sending her flying. The obstacles dealt with, she turned her attention to Eridan, who was to beside himself with shock to do anything to stop her. She snatched his wand away and snapped it in half in a simple movement, then whipped out her chainsaw and gave him a similar treatment.
Revenge achieved and the villain slain, Kanaya took a moment to catch Equius' shades with her face and touch up her makeup, as Vriska looked on with hearts in her eyes.
UPDATED AS OF AUGUST 21st, 2011 TO THIS PAGE
After culling Eridan, Kanaya leaves Vriska to deal with her romantic confusion as she turns her thoughts once again to Rose entering the blackout, as viewed through the Trollian client in the shades she'd inherited from Equius. She finds Sollux wandering around after Karkat abandoned him, and helps guide the now-blind hacker to safety (after having a quick bloody snack out of him, whoops :/).
When the two caught up with Karkat and Terezi, they found that Vriska had put to a just death, much to Kanaya's consternation. This was, unfortunately cut short by an attack from Gamzee, though the battle wasn't detailed in canon (eta: until just as i was writing her reintro, when the great shoooshpap happened), and the implications are that Karkat was the major participant in it. Afterwards, Kanaya opens a memo to discuss the duties of the Space domain and frog-breeding with Jade and a Karkat from earlier in the timeline. It's at the end of this conversation that she'll be ported in.
UPDATED NOVEMBER 21st, 2012 TO THIS PAGE
Moments after returning, the trolls in the Veil are met with the signal they've been waiting for, a bright green flare. Sollux uses his telekinesis to launch their meteor through hyperspace to meet that point, but overexerts himself and dies in the process, leaving Kanaya and Terezi to awkwardly regard the body (Kanaya probably extra awkwardly because hey look at all that blood going to waste) while Karkat cries into Gamzee's bosom. They're interrupted by the appearance of Aradia, Rose, Dave, and Sollux's half-ghost other self whatever thing. Introductions are truncated as the situation is laid out, it essentially boils down to a three year journey through the realm of dark, Lovecraftian gods to reach a new session of Sburb, that game behind the whole plot. But Jack Noir, the demon who'd escaped from the kids' session to sabotage the one the trolls were in, would be hot on their trail through the entire trip.
When she heard Aradia and Sollux say they would be saying behind, Kanaya elected to do the same. She'd amounted to nothing more than a failure and a dead weight, as far as she cared, having lost the Matriorb she needed to continue the troll race, and three years in infinite darkness struck her as too hard to endure. Floating uselessly in the rays of the Green Sun where she wouldn't be a bother to anyone whatsoever seemed like a kinder alternative. Aradia ensured her that she still had her purpose to fulfill beyond just lighting the way to people passing through the darker hallways, and while Rose couldn't use her abilities as a Seer to discern whether another Matriorb could be acquired, she plead with Kanaya to stay with them anyway.
Kanaya does relent, but she's still hesitant to put the Green Sun behind, until she's distracted by the fact that Gamzee had dragged away Sollux's corpse, along with Vriska's, which had also been just offscreen that entire time apparently. It's the second that Kanaya's primarily concerned with, and so she pulls out her chainsaw, still covered in Eridan's blood, and resolves to go hunt Gamzee down. Karkat begs her not to, not wanting to see either of his two best friends kill each other, and even tries to enlist Rose's help, but he's mostly met with blank stares. But then a bucket appears out of nowhere and hits him in the head! In it is a letter John had written them from the beginning of his own three year journey with Jade and Davesprite. Karkat freaks out over its casual mention of potential troll/human sloppy makeouts and starts hallucinating this meetup to be far more amorous than it actually was. It was incredibly silly. But then the Mayor showed up so it was time to go, so Aradia and Sollux combined their telekinetic abilities to launch the meteor off at the speed of light, and the race was afoot.
As they journeyed through the Furthest Ring, they passed through numerous dream bubbles, a mechanic supplied by the Horrorterrors where the dead from numerous branching timelines are allowed to dwell. They visited it not only as the meteor physically would pass through them, but in their dreams as well, encountering multiple versions of their friends, some from their memories, others from doomed timelines where a different progression, sometimes a seemingly more successful one, led to their death and failure. It was weird.
Also during this time, Kanaya regularly led Clown Hunting Expeditions, but the juggalo always managed to elude her. Dude lived in the vents for years. But she spent most of her time researching the conditions of the session they would be traveling to with Rose and indulging in lavish interior decorating projects. They had a lot of time to kill.
It was about a year into the journey when they passed through a dream bubble where they suddenly saw John impaled by a trident that shook him awake out of the bubble. It was thrown by an unknown troll who oddly shared Feferi's sign and caste (her name was Meenah Peixes, and in a previous version of the trolls' universe, she was the teenage version of girl who would grow up to be Her Imperious Condescension, the tyrant Empress of Alternia), and it was intended for a sleepwalking dream self from Derse that belonged to Roxy Lalonde, Rose's mom from the other side of the scratch, and one of the players in the new session they were headed toward. Karkat and Dave sprung to attack Meenah, keeping her from causing further harm. Kanaya leaped in to get her from above, but the fight was broken up the the arrival of Aranea Serket, a friend of Meenah's and related to Vriska's ancestor in the same way Meenah was to Feferi's.
Aranea broke up the fight and the two of them explained how their own session of Sburb/Sgrub went, but Terezi was the only one who was actually paying attention. Rose and Dave were discussing the presence of their teen mom and that of Jake English, who'd followed Aranea in from a dream of his own and appeared to be similarly related to Jade and John, amongst themselves while Kanaya just stood nearby, not entirely sure what was going on. When Aranea told Meenah about the Condesce, Jake attacked her due to the effect her alternate counterpart had on his world, but Meenah was too busy fangirling over herself to care. Aranea also broke up that fight by bopping Jake on the head, forcing him awake and out of the dream.
Jake had brought along a mental projection of Dirk Strider, it's complicated and it was left behind when he left the dream bubble. But when both Dirk's real self and dream self were knocked unconscious, he woke up in the place of this projection. It was awkward. Kanaya might've noticed the resemblance between him and his ectobiological spawn. He didn't stay long, as things had gotten a little stressful back home, he just took Roxy's dream self and went on his way. The Mayor's firefly friend Serenity was on Roxy's head at the time and sailed off with her as the meteor flew off to continue its own journey. The Mayor was sad.
The trip continued for another year, until Lord English, the big villain of the story, started blowing up dream bubbles and causing cracks in the Furthest Ring. This inspired Meenah to start putting together an army to fight back, and she encountered our heroes as well. Rose was a too enthusiastic to reach the new session, but said they would probably end up helping once things were settled there. Kanaya wouldn't have minded a fight, but Rose shook her head and she thought the whole undertaking was stupid anyway. When Meenah asked if the two were an item, Kanaya responded with a bashful "Maybe."
Also in this bubble were other members of Meenah's party, including Kanaya's ancestor, Porrim, who intimidated her a great deal, being a romantically experienced and self-assured rainbow drinker who knew what she was doing and who she wanted to be, with her cool tattoos and her immaculate fashion sense and everything. Kanaya was inclined to avoid her out of nervousness, but she did finally talk to her with some encouragement from Rose.
It was a really good talk. In addition to learning about how rainbow drinkers work and the fact that it was a condition that affected all jadebloods (as Porrim was the first other member of her caste she'd met, they're mad rare yo), she learned how to shut off her glow and was given some great advice regarding her purpose to continue their legacy, her hopes, her worth. After two yeas, she was starting to feel okay, to think she might have a brighter future than she expected. When she related this to Rose later, Rose was a little concerned with the lack of glowing (what can she say, she's a fan of Light), but was pleased enough that she ended up asking her out for the evening. Meenah, who was in tow because Kanaya wouldn't let her pass through where the dream bubble intersected with their meteor unattended, was annoyed to have to witness this. When Meenah saw Karkat sleeping on top of Gamzee's hornpile in the back room, she was going to invite him to join her army like he'd agreed to earlier, but Kanaya sent her packing instead.
That night, Kanaya ended up waiting two hours for Rose to meet her. She wasn't really expecting anything from the meeting, just some mutual time or something. She kind of underdressed. When Rose never showed, she was annoyed, but decided to go looking for her instead of assuming the worst. She found her with an exasperated Dave in the computer lab, drunk out of her gourd and dressed to the nines. She'd been playing with alchemy earlier and ended up with alcohol, and took a drink for her nerves. One drink led to more, and she ended up losing track of time. But despite Dave's protests and Kanaya's uncertainty, Rose insisted that the date would continue (and also stopped insisting that it wasn't a date).
So, with Kanaya keeping her steady, the two of them went for a walk. A stray honk in the distance reminded Rose of something else she'd learned that day, of Gamzee and Terezi's kismesissitude and the way she was afraid it may cause a schism between their group if it became known. By now Kanaya'd given up trying to kill him, and though reluctant to suggest it due to her lack of success with trying before, mentioned auspisticism as a potential option. Rose was ecstatic to hear the solution, and convinced Kanaya to teach her what she could about accomplishing it, before the smitten Seer used the talk of quadrants to segue into the one she was really after before stumbling right out of Kanaya's arms and down the stares.
Kanaya will be pulled from right in the middle of the kiss, flustered and entirely discombobulated.
The major change she'll go through from this update is that she'll be coming from a place where she was actually happy, where she believed in a future she could improve, where she had hope. Of course, she'll come back to having that blended with her 18 months in the City that have gone in far bleaker directions, so having the two very different perspectives will take some time to resolve, but will hopefully and eventually end in a much more positive existence for Kanaya Maryam. She's been through enough, I figure she's earned that from me.
PERSONALITY:
Kanaya is a very dutiful girl. She takes a grim resolution to dirty jobs, because she knows they simply have to be done, so it might as well be her that does them. The way her lusus raised her has instills very strong maternal instincts in her, so she's always looking out for everyone else. She's a very helpful person, and will go to whatever length to make sure her friends are in good condition, and to make sure to prevent any that would cause trouble. For this, she's known by many of them as a meddler.
She has a nearly impenetrably calm demeanor under most circumstances, but it can crack with embarrassment or anger under the right circumstances. She is still learning sarcasm but has taken to it rather well, the only real obstacle is her helpful habit of making sure people know when she's joking or not sometimes sabotaging her attempts at humor. On the other hand, it also makes for an effective deflection.
Because of the way she focuses on the problems others have, she has a tendency to neglect her own needs. She's not a particularly forward or aggressive person, and can be terribly shy and distrustful when it comes to her own feelings. If someone calls her on any topic relating to herself, she'll get defensive and really transparently deflective. She has a habit of maybe hinting at issues and then backing off once people start to glean what she's saying. It's like a need to share what's going on in her life, but at the same time an insurmountable fear of sharing. When someone else is the topic of discussion, she has much less apprehension for sharing her thoughts and feelings.
This may go back to her taste in literature, particularly romance novels focusing on SECRET ROMANCE and FORBIDDEN PASSION. The secrecy and PASSION are mostly what appeal to her, as it fits her outlook on things, and apprehension for airing her own feelings. It's a life she romanticizes and does her best to emulate. She could never pull off the rainbow drinker part before, but who's to say now that she has that aspect covered.
Kanaya is far more interested in aesthetics and bright colors than utilitarianism, and has a practiced eye when it comes to fashion, landscaping, and interior design. She especially likes to make design and sew ensembles for her friends, and regularly shares her opinion with them on whatever outfit they may be wearing at any given time. She's always found it a good icebreaker when first meeting people or distraction in uncomfortable times.
POWER:
Rainbow Drinker ~ At times of great stress, Kanaya will revert to her original troll form, horns and fangs intact and with her skin glowing a brilliant white. In this form, she's much stronger, faster, and more durable. She can survive and even repair otherwise fatal wounds, but they require her to drink enough blood to make up for the loss. The form also thrives on sunlight, and requires enough to be absorbed to maintain her glow at night.
TO ELABORATE POST-UPDATE For one thing, her thirst for blood only grows in this form when not satiated, but isn't present when she's in her human form. The blood also powers her healing factor, as I'd noted before, so it slows as she becomes more thirsty, and only resumes it's normal pace after she's taken a snack. Blood from other trolls also has a vaguely alcoholic effect on her, each color in its own unique way, but this isn't really the case with human blood.
She's solar-powered, that doesn't only help maintain her glow, but is one of her main sources of sustenance. Cutting her off from it for an extended period of time will noticeably weaken her, and if she goes without it long enough she may actually die (again). For this reason, she has a very bad physical reaction to things that directly cut off her contact with the sun, such as sunscreen, though she can maintain herself in darkness without issue if she's got anywhere near a normal amount of solar energy reserved.
After the update, I'd like her to keep a slight glow even in her human form, though it'd be most perceptible in the dark. In light it comes off as only a slight shimmering.
Makeupkind ~ She brought along her jade-and-black lipstick that transforms into a white chainsaw.
Spaceweaving ~ Kanaya can perceive and recognize the source of the threads of space, then manipulate them to various effects: drawing them toward her to attract the person, object, or location they're connected to close to her; cutting them and splicing extensions to repel them; maybe plucking them would give the objects or people a small shiver, though it would be as likely to effect location; she may also be able to cross two threads to draw them together, but probably not so much to where they crash into each other (at least, again, not with locations).
The way it works is it actually appears as if she's pulling whatever's at the end of the thread, like, say, a building edifice just suddenly zooming into where she is. Logistically, this isn't the case. As she manipulates each thread, what's really happening is that dimensional bridges, like portals, are being created between the two points for easy travel between them.
This ability is considered magical in nature.
In addition, Kanaya has the following items on her person upon arrival:
~ Equius' sunglasses, though the Trollian app they're installed with won't be of any use.
~ Eridan's cape, stained with her own blood. At least at first.
[CHARACTER SAMPLES]
COMMUNITY POST (FIRST PERSON) SAMPLE:
Theres A Unique Element To The Sun Here That Im Finding Myself Rather Fond Of
Something About The Method In Which The Golden Color Interacts With Those Surrounding It
I Find It
Enjoyable
I May Need To Reimagine A Few Ensembles To Match These New Circumstances
But There Are Obviously More Important Matters At Hand Right Now
I Require Information About This Location
This Is Earth I Believe Or At Least A Planet Very Similar To It
I Would Hope Im Not The Only One Here
So If Anyone Else Is Here I Would Appreciate You Checking In
Karkat If Youre Here Then Im Sure You Have Notes Youd Like To Share
LOGS POST (THIRD PERSON) SAMPLE:
After an hour, she'd managed to wash all the blood off. The tub might be stained with purple for quite some time afterwards, but she would find a way to deal with it.
What really bothered her was the bare, white, boring walls. No character, no style, no sense of identity. Perfectly useful, yes, but little more. She looked at them closely and tried to imagine what sort of colors would be most palatable, painting a picture in her mind of brilliant patterns and soft fabrics across the walls. She'd have to acquire paint and material soon.
She had other priorities that were more tantamount at the moment. A new world to grow accustomed to, new issues this world arises with it, things to do, people to see. Some she hoped never to deal with again, others she...but let's not worry about that right now.
This City was a much larger place than she was used to living in. With a larger size, comes more people, and with more people come more problems. It was more than she'd be able to handle to take care of it all, which worried her more than she thought was rational. Until now, she'd navigated smaller groups where she could feasibly handle anything that arose. What worried her wasn't that she wouldn't be able to watch over everyone, that was an immutable act that would do best to acknowledge. But the idea of consciously limiting herself so that she didn't try? Well, that was an uncomfortable piece of self-awareness to confront.
She supposed this might prove to be a valuable learning experience for all involved, herself included. She'd along help those she could, but there would still be those she couldn't, and she'd have to come to understand that. She took another look at the blank, bland, boring wall. Maybe this would be a good time to begin personalizing the room after all. Could prove an adequate distraction.
FINAL NOTES ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER:
Kanaya's human form is ethnically Indian, and her skin has only a mild glow to it in that form.